


Irresistible Understanding

by orphan_account



Series: Understanding [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Bashing, Episode Related, Episode: s03e03 Irresistible, Explicit Language, M/M, Post-Africa Xander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-05-18
Packaged: 2017-12-08 13:31:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a less than friendly break from the Watchers' Council, Xander is accidentally transported to a different galaxy filled with a new kind of vampire, hot aliens, and brainwashing herbs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.
> 
> Also, I know nothing about fighting. So I did my best, sorry about any mistakes.

Xander felt strange being in London after so many years living in tribes and villages. Last time he had been in such a big city he'd been smaller, geeky and had been wearing bright coloured baggy clothing. Now he was different. He was big, he had gone from looking like Spiderman to looking more like Wolverine. It was kinda awesome. Dressed in fitted jeans, a white shirt, a leather necklace and with a shoulder bag, Xander knew he knew he looked good and that was very different from his previous experiences in civilized cities.

He strode purposefully towards the Watchers Council's new building. Well, the building wasn't exactly new, the Watchers Council had been there for two years now, but it was the first time Xander had been here. His work for the council had mostly involved travelling around Africa looking for new slayers. Sometimes he would send them to Buffy and Faith to train, but if the girl didn't want to relocate, then he would stay for a few months to teach her the basics.

He'd been doing it for four years and Xander had learned a lot during that time. Whenever he had stayed in one place for an extended period of time he made sure to take fighting lessons from the locals. He had learnt Hapkido, Karate, Surma Stick Fighting, Kung Fu, Musangwe, Nguni Stick Fighting and more. His ability to fight had vastly improved during his second year travelling when he had met a Shaman from Tanzania. The Shaman had informed him that he hosted competing spirits left over from his previous possessions. He had freaked out a little. But when the shaman had done the merging ritual the difference had been amazing. 

His brain no longer felt as though there were too many thoughts to process which completely eliminated his constant babbling. The control he now had over his body and limbs awed him, he hadn't realised how much of a fight it took to make even an arm move - until he was no longer fighting the soldier and hyena for control. The spirits had also given him enhanced abilities when they merged with his own spirit. He had super strength, speed, and agility, along with heightened smell, hearing and sight, and that was just from the hyena. While he had used some soldier knowledge over the years he had thought that knowledge had faded, now that he had merged with the soldier all that knowledge had returned and more. He knew everything a soldier should know and then some. Apparently the soldier that had possessed him had been an explosives expert and now Xander knew all he had ever wanted to know about how to blow things up.

Standing in front of building, Xander wondered what he had been thinking coming here. He hadn't actually told the girls about the spirit merging, or the fight training. It wasn't that he had been hiding it exactly, it was just that he hadn't wanted to tell them over the phone and they hadn't visited. Buffy and Willow had been busy teaching mini slayers and mini witches and occasionally saving the world, while Giles had had his hands full trying to sort out the Watchers' Council. 

As he walked into the building he decided that it wasn't as stuffy as he had always thought that it would be. Sure there was the reception with the slightly stuffy looking secretary but there were also couches and even a soda machine. There were around ten girls sprawled out on the couches but only one that he recognised. He wasn't sure whether she would recognise him though. Last time they had seen each other was two and a half years ago in Kenya, he had been a lot smaller then, with a beard.

“Mwalimu?”

Huh, she did recognise him, though the eye patch probably gave it away.

“Amina!”

Amina ran towards him and hugged him. Xander had met her when she was fifteen, a few months before the spirit merging. Her family hadn't wanted her to move to England so Xander had spent two months training her. 

“What are you doing here, Amina? Did you get your Father to change his mind?”

“Yes. I am eighteen now and he decided that if I wanted to come I could. I have been here for two months now. England is very strange.” Amina was still hugging him. 

Xander laughed. “Yes it is. Well, at least I have always found English people very strange.”

Amina stepped back and stared at him. “You got big! Why are you here? When I first arrived I asked about you because I wished to see you again, but they told me that you did not come here.”

“I thought it was time to come home for a visit.”

Amina nodded before grabbing his hand and pulling him towards where the other girls were trying not to stare at him.

“You must meet my friends. I have told them all about you, and so have some other girls who know you. Your name known among the slayers.” She stopped in front of the other girls and gestured towards him with the hand not still holding his. “This is my Mwalimu, the one I told you about.”

The girls all squealed slightly.

“Really? This is, like, the Xander?”

“Wow this is so cool!”

“OMG, he's even hotter than you said he was!”

“Wow look at those muscles.”

“Are you really Xander?”

“Did you really blow up your highschool?”

Xander wasn't sure how to react. He had spent years in the African desert with tribes and villages and wasn't used to working with more than one teenage girl at a time. The girls' enthusiasm reminded him of the time he had had Amy perform the love spell that ended with all the women in Sunnydale after him. It was scary. 

He was saved by the slightly stuffy looking secretary.

“Excuse me, sir? Can we help you?” She glared at him and Xander automatically thought of Cordelia. 

“Yes, thank you. My name is Alexander Harris. I'm looking for Rupert Giles, or Buffy Summers or Willow Rosenberg.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

Xander was really thinking that coming had been a bad idea. If he left now he could be back in the desert by tomorrow, and he could come back in a few months (or a few years) with an appointment.

“Ah no. Maybe I could, um...”

One of the girls surrounding him interrupted him. “Sylvia, this is Xander Harris. You know one of the original Scoobies?”

The secretary's face lit up. “Goodness me, you're Xander Harris? Why didn't you just tell me that? You don't need an appointment ever, you're a hero around here. Unfortunately, Miss Summers and Miss Rosenberg are out at the moment, but I'm sure Mr. Giles would be pleased to see you.”

She hurried Xander away from the girls and towards the elevator.

“I'll take you up there myself. It's so amazing to meet you. We have heard some amazing stories about you. Did you really break into military facility? And get possessed by a hyena? Did you really date demons?”

Xander stood awkwardly in the elevator wishing that it would move faster. They had already passed the second floor, he really hoped Giles didn't work on the tenth floor.

“Is it true that you brought Buffy back to life when you were fifteen? And did you really live with William the Bloody? Did you really kill that Piasca Demon in India? And eviscerate that Skilosh Demon Tribe in Nepal?”

Xander bit down on a groan, how did she know the more recent stuff? He didn't even tell Buffy and Willow about his demon hunting – they had always insisted that it was too dangerous and he should leave it to the professionals and after a while he decided that what they didn't know they couldn't lecture him on. He knew that many of the supernatural community were gossip mongers but really, this was a bit much.

The elevator dinged on the fifth floor much to Xander's relief and he followed the secretary, Sylvia, out into a hallway. Sylvia continued to talk as they walked through the hallways and Xander was amazed at the lack of response she seemed to require. Even Willow on her most babbley days had required more audience participation than this woman. 

Sylvia walked past an empty assistant's desk and knocked on a pair of double doors. She slipped inside and after a moment returned and gestured Xander to enter.

“I told him you were here. He says to go straight in.” She beamed dreamily at him. “It has been an absolute pleasure to meet a hero such as as yourself, Mr. Harris.”

Xander stared at her in slight confusion as she walked away before squaring his shoulders and entering through the double doors.

Giles' office was awesome. It was huge and every wall, except for the very large window, was covered in bookcases filled with old books which was very Giles. Giles, himself, was standing in front of his desk looking delighted.

“Xander?” Giles' expression moved from delighted to confused. Which Xander figured was fair enough, he knew he looked different.

“Hey, G-man! Long time no see.” Xander moved to hug him and the hug was returned firmly.

“Dear lord, Xander. I must say that I didn't expect you to look quite so different after four years. You are so big, and brown.” 

Giles sat on one of the chairs in front of the desk and motioned for Xander to take the other.

“It is genuinely good to see you Xander. Things haven't been quite the same without you and everything has changed a great deal.”

“I see that, G-man. Fancy office you have here. I love the books, they're very you.”

“It had been over four years since anyone has called me that infernal name. Really must you use it?”

Xander just laughed and stretched his legs out slightly.

“What are you doing here, Xander?” Giles asked curiously “Not that I'm not delighted to see you of course, and I know the girls will share my feelings on that, but what exactly is the reason for your visit?”

Leaning forward Xander stared at his hands. He had always felt a little hurt at how easily the rest of the gang had settled down without him. It had been four years in which he had seen the girls twice when they had a mission in the same area he had been living. That and around four phone calls a year had been their only contact, he knew that he had been to blame as well but they had never so much as suggested that he come back and see them. He sighed.

“It's been four years since I've seen you Giles and the same goes for Dawn. Two years since Buffy and Willow last visited, three since I've seen Faith, and the last time I saw Spike he was disintegrating. I've been away a long time and thought maybe it was about time I came home and saw everyone.”

“Yes, quite. I can understand that. And as I've said, it really is marvelous to have you here.” Giles looked at him speculatively. “You seem different, and by that I mean more different than would be generally expected after four years away. I presume you will fill us all in on the details?” 

Giles looked at him over his glasses and Xander was surprised to realise that the look no longer affected him. That look had used to induce guilt and squirming, even if there was no reason for the feeling, but now it just looked like an old man squinting over his glasses.

Trying not snort with laughter, Xander answered him. “Course I'll explain it all. It's nothing bad, I've been like this for almost two years now, I just didn't really feel as though it was the kinda news one shares over the phone. I think it would be better if I told everyone at once though.”

Giles nodded and picked a schedule book up off his desk. “I could have everyone here for lunch if you wish? We could eat lunch in the board room and discuss?” He looked up from the book. “I presume everyone is Buffy, Willow and Dawn?”

Xander nodded. “Yeah that works. I like lunch. And, uh, yeah Buffy, Willow, and Dawn. Also Faith and Spike if they're around.”

Looking surprised Giles returned the book to the desk. “You have visited at a good time, everyone is around. Spike just returned from L.A. two days ago and Faith departs for Spain on Thursday, I'll have them all here for lunch at one. What do you wish to do for the two hours until lunch?” 

Xander thought about it for a minute. “Do you have a sparring area?”

Giles scoffed. “Naturally, we are an agency dedicated to training slayers, it would be imbecilic not to have a sparring area. I'm not sure whether it would be safe for you to spar there however, everyone who spars there has supernatural strength. It's no place for the average man.”

This time it was Xander who scoffed. “Giles I've been training slayers for the last four years, I'm sure I can handle your sparring area?”

Giles took his glasses off and cleaned them. “Yes Xander, I am aware of your current occupation, however, there is a vast difference between training beginner slayers and sparring with trained ones.”

Xander sighed. “G-man, if they're all too strong for me I can just watch other people spar, or give pointers to some of the younger girls. Anyone I know down there?”

“Very well, as long as you promise to be careful, Xander.” Giles sighed and put his glasses back on. “Spike should be down there. The sparring room takes up the entire second floor, I presume you can find your way back to the elevator? I will send someone down to get you for lunch.”

Xander nodded again and then stood. “Thanks, G-man. I'll see ya in a bit.” With a smile he left only barely withholding a kick for the door on the way out.

As nice as it was to see Giles, it was also frustrating. He had been on his own for four years now, training slayers and fighting demon. He wasn't the same guy he had been last time he had seen everyone, but they would expect him to be the same – as evidenced by Giles. Dangerous for him in the sparring area his ass. 

Making his way back to the thankfully empty elevator Xander pushed for the second floor and waited patiently for the descent. When the doors binged open, Xander took in the room. He was impressed. The sparring room was huge. In the middle was a fifty square foot sparring mat and it was surrounded by exercise equipment. In each corner was a boxing ring. 

Stepping out of the elevator Xander looked around for Spike and found him in one of the corners coaching two girls who were sparring in the boxing ring. It was amazing to see him alive again. He could still remember seeing Spike disintegrate that last day in Sunnydale and he had mourned his friend for years until Buffy finally had told him that Spike was actually alive.

“Sah bum nim?” (Teacher)

Xander looked around to see where the familiar voice was coming from, he saw the girl seconds before she launched herself at him. Catching her and holding her in hug Xander realised that in all his plans to come see his friends he hadn't considered that he might see some of the many girls he had worked with. 

“Hey, Hana.” Xander spun her around making her scream. Hana had been one of his youngest girls. He had met her a year ago in Korea when she had been eleven, he stayed and taught her for a month before her family decided that they would send her to England after all. 

“How are you, baby girl? England treated you well?”

“England is amazing, Sah bum nim! There are many girls and they are all strong like you and me. All the people are so nice. They have taught me many things.” The twelve year old snuggled into him and Xander noticed that they were starting to draw a crowd.

“Verstandig! You be here!” 

Xander looked up and saw Sara running towards him and shifted Hana onto one arm so he could hug Sara with the other. All the different names where going to be a little strange. Each girl he taught had had a different language or dialect and so had called him something different. The first few tribes he had gone to he had tried to convince the young slayers to call him Xander, but after the first three failures he had given up trying. The youth in villages seemed to have a lot more respect for their elders than Xander ever remembered having.

“Sara! Wat doen jy hier? Jou pa sal nooit jou laat kom?” (What are you doing here? Your Father would have never let you come?”

Sara stepped out of his embrace and looked devastated.

“Demon die dorp aangeval, al my familie is dood.” (Demon attacked the village, all my family are dead.) 

Her struggle to smile was visible to everyone. “So I come here. Learn fight better.”

Xander pulled her into another hug. He had liked Sara's family. It was hard to believe they were dead, he had last seen them four months ago.

“Xander?”

Xander gently put down Hana and let go of Sara before turning to see Spike.

“Bloody hell it is you! What're you doing here?”

A few long steps was all it took for Xander to reach Spike and he grabbed him into a hug.

“Fangless! You're alive. They told me you were, but to see you, here, alive.” He spun the vampire around.

“Put me down, you pillock, and I'm not so fangless these days. Let me go before I bite you!” Spike struggled ineffectively before trying and failing to hit Xander. “Damn it, Droopy, when did you get so... undroopy?” 

Xander laughed and squeezed Spike tightly before putting him back on the floor. Spike tried to straighten his clothes. 

“It really is amazing to see you, Spike! I've missed you.”

“Missed you too, mate. What're you doing here?”

“Here in the Watcher Council's sparring room? Or here in London? I'm in London because I thought after four years of nomadic travelling it was time to come back for visit, and I'm here in the sparring room because I'm free till lunch and wanted a spar. By the way, Spike, you are cordially invited to a lunch meeting in which I'm sure I will be interrogated about my doings over the years.”

“I imagine you'll be explaining your transition from droopy to non-droopy?” Xander nodded. “Right then, a spar you said. Not sure we have anyone here of the normal variety you can spar, pet.”

Xander raised an eyebrow. “I don't need normal variety Spike, you'd be amazed the abilities one can pick up over four years. Spar me yourself, you can see just how far the non-droopiness goes.”

Spike looked uncertain. “If you're sure, mate, don't want you to get hurt.” He looked Xander over. “You won't spar in that will you? Don't look very flexible.”

“Na,” Xander shook his head and gestured to his shoulder bag. “I brought some clothes just in case. Where should I change?”

Spike gestured towards a door to Xander's left. “In there.”

Xander nodded and went to get changed.

 

1-1-1

 

When the time Xander came out he saw that all the girls had grouped in clumps around the sparring mat. 

Spike ran his eyes over Xander's track pants and wife-beater before nodding. “Much better, pet. Are you sure about this? Don't wanna hurt you.”

Xander laughed. “I'll be fine, Fangless, pinky promise. Just give me a minute to warm up and I'll be good to go.” 

Xander stretched for a few minutes before standing up and bouncing. “Right then, Spike, what are the rules?”

Spike was still looking unconvinced that it was a good idea. “No weapons. No serious intent to harm. We aren't fighting to win or incapacitate, just a friendly spar back and forth until one of us calls it quits.”

Xander nodded and bounced again. It had been weeks since he'd last had a good fight. And years since he had had a friendly spar with a trained person with supernatural strength. In fact he hadn't had a friendly spar with a trained supernaturally strong person since before the spirit merging ritual.

“Right. Got it. Let's start then.”

At Spike's reluctant nod, Xander smiled and then aimed a kick for Spike's head. Spike barely managed to duck and was hit in the stomach by Xander's fist. Spinning out of Spike's reach Xander grinned at him.

“Come on, Fangless. You can do better than that. Stop presuming I'm the same droopy Harris I was four years ago.” 

Xander rushed forward and aimed another kick at Spike's head, this time Spike ducked both the kick and the punch but he still didn't retaliate. Growling slightly in frustration Xander moved forward and aimed a punch for Spike's ribs and then swept his leg around Spike's bringing him to the floor.

“Come on, Spike, please! I want a good and proper spar. Fight back.”

Spike jumped up quickly but still made no move to fight, only spinning out of the way of Xander's next attack. Xander decided to show Spike what he was really capable of, maybe that would encourage Spike to hit back. His next punch hit Spike in the jaw full strength and Spike flew backwards and very nearly hit one of the groups of girls watching.

Spike growled and stood up, shaking off his vamp face. Xander just grinned.

“Bloody hell, pet. That's quite a punch you've got there.” Spike massaged his jaw and grimaced. “I think you broke something. You're not exactly of the normal variety these days are you?”

Xander's grin widened. “Nope, it's on the agenda to be explained at lunch. But for now will you just fight back!”

Spike grinned back before vamping out. “Yea, pet, I can do that.”

This time when Xander attacked, Spike returned fire. They traded punch for punch and kick for kick. Xander grinned as he jumped to avoid Spike's sweeping foot and spun away landing a kick in Spike's side. 

“You're holding back, Bleach boy!”

“Ditto, ya bloody poof.” 

Spike smirked at Xander before attacking in a flurry of kicks and punches that had Xander speedily retreating. Xander returned with a set of kicks of his own and he and Spike were back to their ducking, kicking, punching and spinning. 

By the time they stopped due to mutual agreement Xander had no idea how long they had been sparring, only that it had felt incredible. 

“You've gotten good there, pet. Bloody unnatural all you super strong happy meals.” Spike grinned leading Xander over to a pile of towels by one of the walls and Xander laughed.

“Thanks, I think. I figured that four years travelling the world I might as well learn to fight, better late than never.”

“That was more than just some fighting lessons, Xan.” Spike pointed out. “I reckon this is where the luncheon slash interrogation comes in, yea?”

“Yea, sounds about right. Great spar though.” Xander grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat off his face before passing a fresh towel to Spike.

“That it was, pet, though you were still holding back on me.” Xander shrugged sheepishly and Spike continued. “Not to say I'm not a little glad you did, you would have kicked my arse if you had fought all out. Bloody hell, I reckon you could kick Buffy or Faith's arses if you wanted to.”

Xander shrugged again dropping the towel in a basket. He had been surprised by how much better he was than Spike. He hadn't realised quite how good he had gotten, it was a little weird actually.

“Need any help with the girls? I could spend sometime with Hana and Sara if that works with you. See if they've kept up on all I taught them?”

“Sure mate. Did Rupert tell you what time he scheduled lunch?”

“Yeah, one in the boardroom. He said he would send someone down for me though.”

Spike snorted. “Course he did. It's not like I'm capable of getting you to the boardroom on time or anything now is it?”

Xander leaned against the wall in concern. He knew that Giles and Spike had never gotten on particularly well, but he had thought that after four years of a souled Spike working with Giles they might have learnt to get on.

“Trouble in paradise, Spike?” 

Spike snorted again. “What paradise, mate? You know me and the watcher were never going to be friends. In fact we both know that I'm not exactly loved by the Scooby crowd, I think they would have been happier if I'd just stayed dust. Me and Faith tend to be sent away for missions a lot. We kinda stick together these days, the unwanted Scoobies.”

Xander sighed, the Scoobies had never been great at accepting people who were different and those they judged as having a sinful past. He was the first to admit that he had been like that as well, but the last year in Sunnydale had changed him for the better. He had hoped the same had happened with the others but apparently that had been wishful thinking. 

“Bloody hell, look at us standing here gossiping like a pair o' ninnies.” Spike bounced on the balls of his feet. “We have under an hour till lunch and some girls to train.” 

Xander stared. “Under an hour? How long did we spar for? It was barely past eleven when I came down here.”

Spike laughed. “Over an hour, mate, and a bloody good spar it was too. Only person I get that gooda workout with is Faith. Great fighter that girl is.” He paused with a grin. “Chop chop, stop distracting me and go do some work.”

Xander grinned and saluted him. “Yes, sir, Captain Peroxide, sir.” He ducked Spike's punch and made his way over to see how much Hana and Sara had learnt since he last saw them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

“Left kick, right punch, spin and sweep. Back salto, spin and roundhouse kick.” Xander was taking the girls through one of the training routines he had created. His original plan to teach Sara and Hana had been over run slightly when he realised that he had about fifteen girls joining in. “Back handspring, step and left hook. Duck and twist, double kick and spin away.”

He was very glad for the large mat otherwise the girls would be bumping into one another. It was the third time he had run through this routine and most of them seemed to have gotten it, except for some of the younger ones who hadn't been taught to flip yet. He decided to move onto some slightly more advanced moves.

“Forward snap kick, spin and crescent kick. Choku-zuki and gyaku-zuk follow with NopJukdari-chagi...” Xander stopped as he realised that the only girls who were still following were Hana and Sara. Well it was nice to know they remembered what he had taught them.

“Do you guys not know what those last ones are?” He sighed as the girls all shook there heads in confusion. How very like Buffy and Giles to only teach the basics. 

“Okay, Sara and Hana, you guys come up here to demonstrate with me.” He waited for them before continuing, Hana looked so small among the much older teenagers.

“Right so the Choku-zuki and the gyaku-zuk are both punches from Karate. Lets start with the gyaku-zuk shall we? It's also called a reverse punch because you use your back arm.” He demonstrated. “See?”

Slowly Xander worked the girls through the three techniques until they were all managing them at least adequately, then he moved on to some others. They were practicing the fourth punch when Xander heard a voice he recognised calling out to him. Quickly instructing the girls to continue, Xander turned just in time to catch Faith who had launched herself at him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and hugged him tight. 

“Boytoy! I've missed you! You don't call, you don't write...”

Xander laughed and carried her away from the girls and over to where Spike had been watching him teach. 

“Missed you too, Faith. How've you been?” 

“Five by five. Busy though. I only got back from Portugal a week ago and I'm off to Spain in three days. Shoulda just stayed there and taken the train to Spain. There was this really hot guy, like a tiger in the sack.” She paused and ran her eyes on what little of him she could see from her position. “And speaking of hot guys, damn, boytoy, what happened to you? Did you accidental eat some wilderness steroids or something? Because... just damn! I'd almost pay to take another ride on that?” She cocked an eyebrow at him and smirked. “You keen?”

Xander laughed as they reached Spike. “Four years ago I would have jumped at the chance but now,” Xander paused and looked at Spike. “Now I'm more interested in whether Spike wants a ride.” He laughed at both his friends shocked faces. “Seriously though, Fangless, can I stay with you for a few days? I don't know how long I'm here for and I'd rather not stay in a hotel.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I'm willing to work for my bed.”

Faith slid off him and stepped back to look at him. “Fuck! You're serious? Four years in Africa turned you fucking gay?”

Xander wiggled his eyebrows again. “Have you seen the men in African tribes, Faith? It would be enough to turn any man gay. Mmm, all those chocolate coloured muscles!”

Faith pouted. “That's not fair! You come home looking like that.” She gestured at him. “And then tell me that I'm not allowed a turn.”

“Oi. I think that's perfectly fair, love.” Spike elbowed her. “You've bloody well had your turn on that years ago. Now it's time to let other people have their turn.”

Faith's pout grew. “Anyway, Giles sent me down to collect you two for lunch pronto.”

Xander's jaw dropped. “Lunch? Already? What's the time?”

“It's five past one, pet. You've bin coaching the girls for forty minutes.”

Xander grunted slightly. “Shit, do you think they would be too upset if I took a few minutes to shower and change?”

Faith waved a hand dismissively. “Go for it. It's not like they're going to start the 'catch up with Xander' lunch with you.”

“Catch up with Xander? More like interrogate Xander.” But Xander hurried into the changing rooms anyway.

 

2-2-2

 

By the time Xander had quickly showered and changed, it was quarter past one. He left his bag there, making plans to come back for it after lunch, and he exited the changing rooms in a rush. Before he reached Spike and Faith though, he was waylaid by the girls he had been teaching earlier. Surprisingly Hana seemed to be their spokesperson.

“Sah bum nim?”

Xander sighed and resigned himself to being unforgivably late. “Yes, Hana?”

“We were thinking whether you could please return and teach us again later?”

“Please, Xander!”

“Please, Verstandig.”

“You taught us so much, Xander, please!”

Xander waved Spike and Faith over.

“Whatsup, boytoy?” Faith bounced next to him. 

“The girls have asked whether I will be coming back to teach them more. Do you think that would be ok?”

Faith looked at him strangely. “Why wouldn't it be, X? You're an employed watcher aren't you?You'll just be watchering from London instead of the middle nowhere.”

Xander grinned. “Well employed might be pushing it. I would describe myself as more of a expenses paid volunteer.”

Faith looked horrified. “What? They're not fucking paying you?”

Xander punched her arm and looked pointedly from her to the girls who were listening. 

Faith glared. “Fine. But we are talking about this later. As for the training thing, sure you can come back and train them later. No one is going to complain about having an extra instructor.”

The girls all jumped and squealed excitedly. “Yes!”

“That's awesome!”

“We want to learn more of those moves with the funny names.”

Spike and Faith both looked amused at the girl's enthusiasm.

“Right then. Time to go, pet. We're already twenty minutes late for lunch, and not that I'm in any hurry to see the slayer or my poof of a sire but we should probably try not be too much later.”

Xander groaned at the reminder at how late they were. “Right then. I'll see you girls later, practise those new moves until then. If you have any trouble with them both Sara and Hana can help you.” 

With that he hurried towards the elevator. Once inside he turned to Spike.

“Wait, did you say that Angel was going to be there?”

Spike leaned against the wall and casually leered at Xander's body. “Yeap, he and the slayer are back at it again. So where she goes he goes. It's bloody annoying I tell you. I just spent the last month in L.A. where I had to see him every bloody day and I come back home and he follows me back.”

Xander groaned, this was going to be worse than he had thought. Angel would be one hundred percent against his spirit merging, hypocritical though that might be. With him and Giles there he wasn't going to have a chance to convince Buffy and Willow that everything was safe and good.

“Hey, um, I'm not sure how to put this exactly, but what I tell everyone in there, I promise that it's completely safe. It's been two years and I haven't had a single negative side effect. I know the others are going to hate it, but I swear everything is fine.”

Both Spike and Faith looked at him worriedly.

“I'm just telling you this now because with Angel there the odds are highly against my favour and I could kinda use some back up in there.”

“No prob, X. We got your back.” Faith grinned.

“Any other body parts you're willing to volunteer.” Spike went back to leering and Xander cheered up. He was going to get laid, and by Spike. He had had more than a few fantasies about bleach boy since he had realised he was into guys.

The elevator stopped on level five and Xander followed his friends down the hallway and through another set of double doors. He looked around the room and realised that, like the board rooms he had seen on tv, it just had a big table – which was currently covered with food - surrounded by chairs. Though this room also had bookcases around the walls, much like Giles' office.

“Xander?” 

Turning slightly he saw both Buffy and Willow looking at him in shock, which was a expression Xander was becoming familiar with.

“Hey, Wills, Buff. Long time no see.” They just stared at him so he continued to look around the room. “Afternoon, Giles, Angel, Dawnster, Kennedy. Sorry we're so late, got a little distracted in the sparring room. ” 

“Xander!” Dawn came around the table and hugged him. “It's so good to see you! You got so big, and so brown.”

Laughing Xander replied. “Yeah. That's exactly what Giles said when he saw me this morning. So, all this food for me?”

Xander sat down in the nearest seat and Dawn and Spike sat either side of him. Faith sprawled out on the chair next to Spike and Xander looked across to Giles' who was frowning at him.

“I really am sorry we're late. I lost track of time, and when Faith came down to get us I was all sweaty and yucky so I took a shower, and then the girls wanted to ask me a question. I hope the food hasn't gone cold.”

Willow seemed to have recovered from her shock and shook her head. “Nope, I magicked it warm.”

“Wow handy. So,” Xander looked around the table. “Can we eat now? Just I haven't eaten since early this morning, and I just spent two hours in the sparring room and a man needs to eat.”

Giles started cleaning his glasses with a sigh, he seemed to have a much shorter fuse than he used to. “Yes, very well. Everyone may eat.” 

Dawn, Xander, Spike and Kennedy all grinned and grabbed at the food. When Xander had filled his plate he turned to look at Spike. 

“What? No sausage, Fangless?” 

Xander grinned as Spike leered at him. “Not yet, droopy, I'm holding out for a bigger one later.”

Faith and Xander both snickered while the rest of the table stared at them confusedly. 

Looking across the table at Buffy and Willow, Xander sighed. It had been a long time since he had seen them last, and he had been hoping that seeing them again would magically cause their relationship to rekindle, but that wasn't the case. Sitting across from them just made him realise how far they had grown apart. He felt closer to Spike and Faith than he did to them.

“So, what has everyone been up to recently? Last news I heard was six months ago so I figure I'm a bit behind on the times.”

“Well, Angel and I are engaged.” Buffy held up her left had to show him the ring. “He asked a few months ago and I said yes. We're planning a June wedding.”

Willow grabbed Kennedy's hand so their hands rested on the table. “Kennedy and I are having a baby. We used a sperm bank and Kennedy is seven months pregnant.” She looked at him slightly guiltily. 

Xander leaned back in his chair in shock. “Wow. That's awesome! I'm really happy for both of you. Hell, all of you!” He smiled at all involved. “That's really amazing. One marriage, one baby.” He looked at Dawn. “What's new with you Dawn, no marriage or baby in sight I hope?”

“Well...” Dawn laughed at his expression. “Nope, nothing like that. I've been studying at Oxford. I've just finished my degree in linguistics and mythology and I'm doing the honours program at the moment. It's awesome! I normally live in the on campus housing, but I've reached the part of the paper where most of it solo work so I'm home for a bit.”

Xander stretched his legs out a little and stared at her. His little Dawn was all grown up.

“That's brilliant, Dawn. Do you know what you want to do next year?”

Dawn swallowed her mouthful before replying. “I'm thinking maybe go into the Master's program, or straight to the Doctorate program if they let me. I really enjoy studying and researching.”

“Good on you.” Xander grinned at her. “So you wanna be Doctor Dawn, do you?”

“Don't encourage her, Xander.” Buffy snapped, obviously irritated. “I keep telling her that she doesn't need to keep studying, she knows enough already and should just come back and work with us here. If she wants to learn more she can do it herself by reading books.”

“But I don't want to, Buffy.” Dawn snapped at her. “I have told you time and time again that I don't want to work for the Watchers' Council. I want a life outside of this place and fighting evil. I love languages and mythology, but I don't want to spend my entire life just using them to stop impending disasters. I want to study and teach. To write papers and keep learning.”

Xander looked between the sisters before whispering under his breath. “Oops.” 

Spike snorted drawing Buffy's attention. “What? Do you think something is funny, Spike?”

Spike snorted again. “Not at all, pet. Shall we move on though, thought this was supposed to be about getting to know Xander again.” 

Xander glared at him before grinning. “Oh you'll have plenty of opportunity to get to know me better later, Spike.”

“Ah, yes.” Giles was looking confusedly between Xander and Spike. “You said that you would explain the changes that have occurred to you since we last saw you.”

Xander sighed and glared at Spike again, though he supposed that it was inevitable.

“Right. The story starts in Tanzania about two years ago. Well, it kind of starts then. A lot of the changes happened before then and were natural, like the tan and some of the strength and fighting, but the supernatural part of it happened in Tanzania and I'm guessing that's what you're most interested in.”

Spike grinned. “Wouldn't say it's the part of you I'm most interested in, pet.”

Faith snorted. “Hear, hear.” 

The others just nodded and cast confused looks at them.

Xander pushed his chair back and stretched out so he was sprawled out comfortably. “Ok, so, I was in Tanzania to find Rācel. She came here didn't she? I just remember that I didn't spend more than a month with her tribe.”

Buffy nodded. “Yeah, Rācel is here. Really quiet and shy.”

“That's her. Anyway, I was with her tribe explaining to her family about being a slayer and all that. I was really lucky that they spoke Swahili, some of the other tribes I ended up in didn't speak any language besides their own tribal one. Made conversations complicated.”

Dawn sat up slightly. “Wewe unasema Kiswahili?” (You speak Swahili?)

Xander grinned. “Ndiyo nilikuwa na. Mengi ya vijiji si kuzungumza Kiingereza. Ulijifunza huko Oxford?” (Yes I had to. A lot of villages don't speak English. Did you learnt it at Oxford?)

“Sehemu, Ni kusaidiwa kupata mengi ya wasichana akizungumza Kiswahili pia.” (Partly, It helped to have access to a lot of Swahili speaking girls as well.)

Faith elbowed him sharply. “And again in English, X.”

“Right. Sorry.” Xander looked a little abashed. “We were just discussing where we learnt Swahili. So I'm in Rācel's tribe explaining the way of the world to them, and it turns out that they already knew a lot about demons.” He paused and ate a few chips off his plate. “It's not uncommon for the tribes to have some understanding about demons, but these guys were advanced. The only thing they didn't know much about was the slayer, but even then they knew tidbits. 

“Then I meet their Shaman. He was a good guy, kinda young for a Shaman actually, but anyway. The Shaman told me that I had three competing spirits in me, which I have to say really freaked me the fuck out.” 

“Xander! Language!” 

Xander ignored Buffy and Willow and looked across to Giles who was cleaning his glasses. “I mean I obviously knew what spirits were competing, the hyena, the soldier and my own one, but you had said that they were gone and here was this guy telling me that they were still here. I pretty much told him to fuck off...”

“Language!”

Xander returned his friends' glares and continued. “But the more I thought about it the more it made sense. I had always felt weaker, clumsier and slower since the hyena possession and I had marked it up to the fact that now I had Buffy to compare to, but then I got to the point where I was twenty four and I was still slow and clumsy compared to normal people. Before the hyena possession I had always been reasonably good in school, I mean sure I was lazy but I passed no problem, but afterwards my head was always so full of thoughts that I couldn't concentrate.

“So here I am in the middle of Africa, in a tribe which know knows a hell of a lot about demons and their demon expert guy is telling me that I have competing spirits. After I got past the instant denial stage I decided that I thought he was right, so I went back and talked to him. Luckily he forgave me for my initial outburst and was willing to help. He was very helpful.” Xander grinned at the memory.

Spike's eyebrows rose. “Just how young was this Shaman, pet?”

Xander smirked. “Oh he was young enough. Very energetic for a Shaman too.”

Faith snorted. “You go, boytoy.”

Xander grabbed a few more chips before continuing, they were still hot, Willow's spell was awesome. “I asked the Shaman why my soldier had stuck around and the Buffy and Willow's ones hadn't, and he told me that I'm a Roho Kupokea.”

“Woah.” Dawn looked shocked.

“Oh, dear lord.” Giles put his glasses back on, only to take them off a second later to resume cleaning them.

“You're what?” Buffy looked worried. “Sorry, Xander, but I don't speak Swahili or whatever so you're going to have to Englishify it for me.”

Dawn answered in Xander's place. “It basically means that Xander receives Spirits, or is the receiver of spirits.”

“Oh.” Buffy leaned against Angel who was staring at the table. “Well that can't be good.”

“That's what I thought.” Xander unsprawled slightly. “I told him that I wasn't big on the receiving of anything, especially not spirits. I'm more into giving things, spirits, beer, you name it.” Xander smirked at Spike. “I'm not so much a catcher more of a pitcher.”

Faith snorted and started to shake with, what Xander presumed was, laughter.

“Uh, Xander? Don't you mean not a receiver, more of a giver?” Willow looked slightly bewildered.

Faith's shaking became more pronounced and then she slapped the table causing almost everyone in the room to jump.

Xander smirked and looked around the room at his completely clueless and bewildered friends.

“Was there a joke I missed?” Buffy asked. “Because I didn't hear a joke.”

Spike elbowed Faith into silence. “Don't worry, slayer, Faith's just a bit tired is all. Either that or she's coming down with something, which she better not be because nobody in this room is catching anything today, except me.”

That just set Faith off laughing again. 

Buffy looked at her strangely, “If you're sure, Spike.” She paused. “Wait, but you're a vampire – you can't get sick.”

Xander just shook his head in despair at his oblivious friends. Honestly they were twenty six now, they should definitely be able to pick up on these jokes.

“So anyway, moving on.” Xander waited until everyone was paying attention again before continuing his story. “So obviously I didn't want to be a Roho Kupokea, so I asked the Shaman if there was anything I could do about it.”

“Didn't this shaman dude have a name? Because all this 'shaman this', 'shaman that' shit is kinda strange.” Faith interrupted. 

“Actually no. In that village the men didn't have names as we have them, their names were pretty much their vocations. I was called Mwalimu, which basically means teacher. Well sometimes the Shaman called me 'Merciful gods' but that's another story.”

“That good are you, pet?” Spike leered at him.

“Oh you have no idea, Fangless.” Xander winked at him.

“I plan to have a bloody good idea tonight, love.” 

“Oh, dear god!” Giles groaned. “Please move on and stay on topic, Xander.” 

Faith, Spike and Xander all snickered as Giles glared at them. Xander wasn't surprised that Giles had been the first to pick up the references.

“Where was I?”

“You asked the Shaman what could be done for your receiverness.” Willow provided.

“Right, so the Shaman told me that he could block off my access to the spirits. It made me forever incapable of being possessed, which yay! But that still left me with the competing spirits problem. He told me that if the possessions had been recent then he could have exorcised them, but since they'd been around nine years it would be too dangerous. There was one solution though, he had a ritual that would merge all three spirits, mine, the hyena, and the soldier. So I did.”

The room was silent for a moment before Giles stood up angrily. “You imbecilic child! To merge spirits is not only exceedingly dangerous but it uses dark magic. You have permanently merged yourself with two others. You might as well have become a vampire and then cursed yourself with a soul, you're no more Xander than Angel is Liam or Spike is William.” 

“What?” Buffy looked horrified. “Xander's like a vampire now?”

“Of cou...” Xander started to reassure her but Giles interrupted him.

“He's not a vampire, Buffy, but he might as well be. Only a third of that,” Giles waved a hand in Xander's direction. “Is actually Xander. Who knows which part? Or which spirit actually has control of the body.”

Willow started to cry and Buffy pulled a stake out of her pocket, making Xander stand up.

“Woah! Let's just all calm down for a minute and I finish the story.”

“There's more? What did you request that a werewolf bite you?” Giles asked snidely. 

“Of course I didn't,” Xander sighed in frustration. “Just sit down and I will tell you the rest.”

Giles glared at him but sat down. Xander sighed and seated himself as well.

“Okay. So I agreed to do the spirit merging ritual, but I was worried that if I did that I wouldn't be me any more. As Giles said before, when one thinks of a spirit merging it sounds as though all three spirits will have the same amount of control over the body. I worried that if the hyena had too much control I would end up thinking I was a girl and going around eating people and laughing creepily.

“But the Shaman explained that because my spirit was the original spirit my personality would dominate the merged soul. The only difference would be that instead of the opposing souls fighting everything I did, they would help.”

Xander looked pleadingly at the people across the table who were still glaring at him with a mixture of anger and suspicion. “And he was right. I am still me one hundred percent. I still enjoy reading comic books, and hate evil. I still try and get hold of some Twinkies every time I'm in an airport. I still mourn Anya, and think that Angel uses too much hair gel. I just have some extra abilities.”

Their glares didn't soften, and Dawn was just looking confused. But Spike and Faith looked fascinated.

“So what exactly are these extra abilities, love?” Spike's smirk was lecherous and Xander smiled thankfully at him.

“Well I'm stronger and faster as you found out earlier. I also have an enhanced sense of smell, sight and hearing. I have a complete understanding of the workings of most animal clans which I've found actually gives me a good understanding about most demon clans as well. That's pretty much it from the hyena, except for an incredible stamina.”

“Oh yea?” Spike shifted slightly in his seat.

“Seriously?” Angel looked horrified. “You two are flirting? Now?”

Xander swore internally. He had forgotten that Angel had a super advanced sense of smell. 

“Yea, wot of it, peaches?” Spike smirked insolently at his sire, and Xander was amazed that Angel's demon didn't attack him for it. Angel's soul must have total control, Xander knew that if one of his clan subordinates ever spoke to him like that they wouldn't be walking for a week. 

“What?” Buffy's voice brought him out of his thoughts and Xander quickly reminded himself that a) he didn't have a clan and b) he would never have a clan with subordinates. Sometimes he got a little caught up in his hyena instincts. 

“But Xander' isn't gay? Why would he be flirting with Spike?” Buffy sounded confused.

“It's the spirit merging.” Giles answered confidently. “I told you that it isn't really Xander any more, this is just evidence that I was right.”

“Wait a minute G-man.” Xander felt like he was beating his head against a brick wall and Angel hadn't even expressed his opinion on his spirit merging yet. “I was having sex with guys long before the spirit merging. I even fucked the Shaman days before the ritual. That isn't evidence of anything.”

“Stop swearing, Xander!” Willow cried. “I think Giles is right. The old Xander never swore.”

“Will, it's been four years. Of course I'm going to be a little different. We're all a little different. You're having a baby for god's sake. Four years ago there is no way you or Kennedy would have even considered kids. We have all changed. I have been living in the middle of the fucking desert for years with almost no contact from my friends, of course I'm going to have come back a different person. But I'm still me, just an older, stronger, rougher me who has a library worth of hyena and soldier knowledge in my mind. They're like reference books, only in my head.

“You guys can't honestly have thought that after four years away I would still be the Xander that I was in Sunnydale. I promise I'm still me, just like the slayers are still themselves when they make the transformation from normal girl and super girl. A little extra strength, doesn't make someone a different person.”

Xander leaned back in his chair and looked helplessly at the faces of his friends.

“Xander's right.”

“What?” Giles and Buffy whipped their heads around to stare at Angel. 

“He's still himself, just with a few bonus features.” 

Everyone around the table was staring at Angel in shock. Shock which Xander fully seconded, Angel must have changed a lot in the last four years as well. 

“Angel,” Buffy started. “You can't really mean that, I mean Giles says that kind of magic is evil.”

Angel sighed. “Well, Giles is wrong.” 

Cue gasps, Xander almost snorted at how predicable his friends still were. 

“The Watchers Council doesn't understand all magic.” Angel continued. “Sometimes spirit merging is done with dark magic, but it doesn't sound as though the ritual that was used on Xander was evil in the slightest. Xander isn't the first person I have met with a set of merged spirits.

“I am glad that Xander was given the opportunity to have the spirits merged. To have multiple spirits fighting for dominance in the body is an exhausting experience, and has been known to drive lesser men insane within years.”

Xander nodded to Angel thankfully. He had never thought of Angel and Spike's soul curse being similar to his possessions. “If you would like Angel, I could give you the directions to the tribe so you could have your soul and demon merged.”

Angel smiled at him and Xander thought that it was probably the first time that that had ever happened. Historically, he and Angel didn't have the smiling kind of relationship.

“Thank you, Xander, I will consider it.”

“I've considered enough, pet, I want the directions and maybe a letter of recommendation for the Shaman.” Spike piped up.

Xander grinned at him. “I'll have to try you out before I write a letter of recommendation, Spike. The Shaman has high standards, wouldn't want to steer him wrong if you aren't quite up to standard.”

Spike growled. “Not up to standard! Just you wait until tonight, droopy, you'll see just how up to standard I am!”

Laughing Xander turned back to the table. Buffy and Willow both had their seemingly permanent confused faces on, Giles looked disgusted and Faith, Dawn and Angel were laughing. Angel was laughing! It was almost creepy how much Angel had changed in four years, and how much Giles hadn't.

“Good lord, Xander. You fornicated with a Shaman?” 

Yup, Giles hadn't changed a bit. 

“So, you're stronger now, Xander, are you any good at sparring?” Angel asked. 

Spike snorted. “He's bloody good he is.” He pointed to the bruise that had developed on his jaw. “Gave me this, and kicked my arse.”

“I didn't actually beat you, Spike, we were in a non-competitive sparring match. Besides you weren't actually fighting me when I gave you that bruise, you were still standing on the mat like a lump trying not to hurt the poor defenseless happy meal.” Xander laughed.

“Xander, you landed me on my arse at least twice as many times as I did you and you admitted to holding back. I wouldn't want to fight you competitively with you going full bore. Today was bloody hard on my ego as it was.”

“Xander's really that good?” Faith looked speculative. “Wanna spar with me, X? Sounds like a good time.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“You can't be alright with this, Faith.” Giles glared at Xander. “We have no idea what he is, or what he is capable of.”

“And what would you suggest we do Giles? Lock him in the cells until we figure this out?” Faith glared around the room.

“Well, yes! That's exactly what I would advise.” Giles took his glasses off. “You must understand that we can't simply let him run around freely. He could be dangerous!”

Xander sighed and leaned his head back. And they had returned to this.

Buffy snorted. “The old Xander could barely kill a vamp if it was tied down and unconscious, how much of a difference could one little ritual make.”

“Buffy, you can't think of that,” Giles waved a hand towards Xander. “As Xander. Our friend is gone and we have no idea what this spirit controlling his body is capable of. You can't trust him.”

“I know that, Giles! And I'm not saying I trust him, in fact I would go so far as to say that I don't and can't trust him while his spirit is merged, or whatever, but we can't just lock him up. It sounds like he will be staying with Spike.” She scrunched her nose up. “And we can make sure that either me, Faith, Angel or Spike are with him at all times.”

Xander felt a little like crying, well there went that friendship. 

“Buffy!” Giles sounded frustrated. “Spike just admitted that this thing in Xander's body could easily beat him in a fight and Spike, you, Faith and Angel are all around the same level. If he attacked, none of you could stop him.”

“I'm not going to attack anyone, Giles.” Xander commented.

Giles ignored him and continued. “And what is he going to do all day? There can only be so many times he and Spike can copulate in a day.”

“Oi, I hope not.” Spike put in. “Xander here has promised me hyena stamina.”

Faith snorted while Xander elbowed Spike. 

“Well, I guess he can just do what we're doing. It's not like he will be staying long.”

“Oh, yes.” Giles sounded snide again. “And then we will send him to young slayers again will we?”

“What? No! Of course not!” Buffy obviously hadn't thought of that. “We will just have to find something else for him to do. Something far away from people, that wouldn't effect us if he turns out to be evil and mucks it up.”

Xander was starting to think that they had entirely forgotten that he was still here. 

“It's times like these when I feel ashamed that they defeated my evil schemes every time.” Spike whispered under his breath. Xander looked across to Angel and they shared an amused smile.

Faith stood up and glared pointedly until Buffy and Giles stopped arguing to look at her.. “Well, as fun as this has been. I want to spar with Xander, so Xander and I will take our leave. You lot can stay here and decide how you're going to deal with this.” 

Xander stood up and smiled gratefully at Faith. There was only so long he could listen to people planning his fate as though he was evil.

“Yeah, me too.” Spike stood up quickly. “I wanna see this.”

“Yeah, okay.” Buffy agreed absently. “Just remember to keep an eye on him.”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Spike saluted mockingly. “I promise to even watch him in the changing rooms, for security reasons of course.”

Buffy scrunched up her nose again. “Ewww, Spike! I don't wanna know.” She then turned back to her argument with Giles, and Xander made his escape with Faith and Spike.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

Xander entered the elevator and slammed the palm of his hand against the wall.

“Fuck!”

He couldn't believe how badly that had gone. Well he could, and part of him had been expecting it, but it was still hard to deal with. Buffy and Willow had been his best friends since they were all sophomores, Willow had been one of his best friend since preschool for god's sake, and now it was all gone. He had fought demons alongside slayers for eleven years, and now apparently that part of his life was over. He let his head fall against the wall, maybe coming back had been a mistake.

Spike and Faith followed him into the elevator and, after pushing a button for the gym level, both leaned casually against the opposite wall. 

“Right then,” Spike started. “I'm guess'n that didn't exactly go to plan.”

Xander laughed bitterly. “That's one way of putting it.” He slammed his hand against the wall again. “Fuck!”

The elevator door opened and the three of them walked into the gym.

Faith linked her arm around Xander's. “Wanna spar? Burn some of that tension?”

Xander bounced on his feet. “God, yes! Two on one?”

Faith's eyebrows rose in surprise. “You sure, Xan? I know that I haven't seen you spar yet, but you really think you can take both me and Spike?”

“I doubt I'll win.” Xander answered honestly. “I need a tough fight.”

Spike cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders. “I'm in.”

Faith shrugged. “Hell you know me, I never walk away from a tumble.”

Xander grinned and bounced again, gazing around the gym which was still filled with young slayers.

“Right. I gotta get changed first. I'll be out in a minute.”

Spike smirked. “I'm coming too. I promised the Slayer that I wouldn't take my eyes off you.”

Rolling her eyes Faith leant against the wall. “Off you go then.”

Xander walked into the changing room, and was pleased to see that his bag was still where he had left it. He pulled out the clothes he had worn while sparring with Spike and sniffed them experimentally. 

“Ew.” Spike groused. “Why smell them? You're gonna put them on either way, aren't you?”

Xander shrugged and quickly unbuttoned his shirt and then pulled it off, followed by his undershirt. He jumped slightly when he felt cool fingers on his back.

“That's a pretty big scar you have, pet.” Spike said, still fingering the scar. “What happened?”

Xander pulled his wife-beater over his head, and shrugged. “Demon about nine months ago. I don't know what sort, just that it was huge and had sharp fucking claws.”

He undid his belt and zipper and wiggled out of his jeans, aware that Spike was still directly behind him. Before he had managed to slip on the sweatpants, he felt Spike's hands slip around his waist and down towards his groin. He slapped the questing hands and pulled the sweatpants on.

“Bloody tease.” Spike grumbled.

Xander laughed and turned around. “Patience, fangless. You'll get your fill later. Besides, you're the one who followed me in here.”

Spike pouted. “You ready then?”

Xander nodded and led the way back to Faith. The minute the slayer saw them she put two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. 

“Yo, slayers.”

All the girls froze and turned towards the senior slayer. “Me, Xan, and Spike are going to spar on the mat.” She gestured towards the centre of the room where around ten girls had been training. “Stay outa our way, don't interfere no matter what, and you might wanna watch. Maybe you'll learn something.”

Within a minute the mat was clear and every single slayer in the gym had migrated to within a comfortable watching distance.

Xander bowed mockingly and gestured Faith towards the mat. “Ladies first.”

Faith snorted.

When all three of them were standing on the mat Xander looked between his opponents.

“Anything goes, except for kill shots. My healing is just as advanced as both of yours.”

Faith and Spike both nodded and moved so they were facing one another with Xander between them. 

Spike attacked first. Xander presumed that he was probably giving Faith some time to evaluate his fighting style before she joined in. He ducked away from Spike's right hook, and then placed a leg between Spike's and pushed the vampire off balance with a punch to the gut. Spike had barely landed on the ground before Xander sensed Faith coming up behind him. He spun around just in time to avoid her first punch, but he was knocked back a step by her second punch to his sternum. He quickly stepped to the right and aimed a kick at Faith's side, which she blocked.

Twenty five minutes later they were still sparring but Xander knew without a doubt that they would beat him soon. He was definitely the worse for wear, and the two of them kept coming. He blocked Faith's punch, but then winced when Spike landed a kick on his left hip. Stepping back and he grabbed Faith's shoulder and twisted it harshly, kicking her feet our from under her when she tried to step away from his grip. He spun away from Spike's fist before grabbing a hold of the smaller man and tossing him away.

Just as he turned his attention back onto Faith, the slayer swept his feet out from under him and he landed heavily. Two seconds later he was lying on his back with Faith straddling him, with a throbbing jaw and an arm over his throat. He groaned and tapped her thigh in surrender. When she climbed off him, Xander pulled himself to his feet breathing heavily and rubbing his throat. He put a hand to his jaw and gently felt for fractures. He had forgotten how hard Slayers could hit.

“Woah!” Faith pulled the bottom of her top up to wipe the sweat off her face. “You said you could fight, but I didn't think you could fight like that. I don't think I've ever fought anyone as good as you. No one humanoid, anyway.”

Spike sat up with a groan. “I'll say. That bloody hurt! You almost threw me into some of the chits.”

Xander shrugged, and then winced at the pain in his shoulder. “Yeah, well you almost dislocated my shoulder.”

“That was so amazing!”

Xander turned around and saw a group of blond girls in their late teens behind him. 

“It was, like, so cool.” 

“You're so fit. You must work out.” One of the girls sidled up and put a hand on his arm.

Xander stepped back and raised an eyebrow searchingly. “And who are you?”

“Candice.” Faith said from behind him. “The other three girls are Jessica, Brit, Catherine. They're some of our baby American slayers.”

Candice fluttered her eyelashes, stepping towards Xander again. “Not so babyish any more.”

Xander took another step back and glared at both Spike and Faith as they sniggered at his predicament. “Right, well, thank you ladies for your compliments, but I'm afraid that I already have a date for tonight.”

Candice pouted and fluttered her eyelashes again. “That's too bad. Are you sure you won't change your mind?”

“Even if I did, I don't date slayers.” Xander said with a shrug.

“Why?” Candice purred stepping forward again and pressing herself up against him. “Afraid you won't be able to keep up.”

Xander let out a bark of laughter. “Not at all sweetheart. Slayers just possess the wrong equipment for me.”

This time it was Candice who stepped back, her pout having grown. “Oh. That's a pity.”

When the four girls had left Xander turned to glare at his friends again. “God. She can't have been eighteen.”

Faith sniggered again. “Can you imagine your face if that had happened to you nine years ago?”

Xander raised an eyebrow. “That did happen to me nine years ago. The slayer just happened to be a brunette rather than a blond.”

“Touche.” Faith smirked. “So, you have a date huh? What exactly do you plan to do on this date of yours?”

Xander stretched out his arms, groaning slightly as the muscles burned. “I dunno. Personally I'm just wanna get him back to his apartment and fuck him senseless.”

He put his head in his hands and groaned as some young slayers began giggling.

Faith laughed loudly. “And you tell me off for inappropriate language.”

“Sounds like a plan, pet.” Spike said, standing up with a groan. “I, for one, am entirely on board with the idea of being fucked. Though you might have to be gentle. I think you might have put my back out.”

“Don't be a baby.” Faith snorted. “You make much more noise when your back is out. You'll be fine.”

Xander frowned. “When did you put your back out?”

Spike looked Faith questioningly. “Was it April?”

“Na, March I think.” Faith replied. “Well, that was the most recent one. You put it out a few years ago too.” She turned towards Xander and lowered her voice to a pseudo whisper. “I think he's starting to feel his age.”

Spike growled.

“You teach us now, Verstandig?” 

Xander looked down and to see Sara looking up at him pleadingly. He looked across at Spike and Faith questioningly.

“Go ahead.” Faith said cracking her neck. 

Spike was rubbing his back but moved a hand to wave dismissively in his direction. “Yeah, go train them. It's only three o'clock, we've plenty of time.”

“Verstandig?” Sara asked again.

“Yeah.” Xander nodded to her. “I can do that.”

 

3-3-3

 

It was almost six o'clock when Xander finished teaching the young slayers. Then he changed out of his gym clothes and went to sit on the floor next to Faith. 

“You're good.” Faith said in greeting.

“Huh?”

“At teaching. I've never seen anyone teach them like you do. You kept them interested for three hours.”

“Thanks.” Xander grinned and stretched his legs out. “It was different than I was used to. Normally I only teach one girl at a time. Where's Spike?”

Faith shrugged. “Giles wanted to see him. He should be back soon.”

“Do you want to join us for dinner?”

Faith looked surprised. “What about your date?”

Xander rolled his eyes. “It's not a date, Faith. It's a friendly fuck between friends, and I need nourishment first. Besides it's the first time I've seen you in four years.”

Faith looked at him, eyebrows raised. “You really have changed. A friendly fuck between friends? Isn't that my line? What happened to relationship-boy?”

“I've spent the last four years travelling Faith.” Xander sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. “In the last four years, the longest amount of time I spent in one place was four months. I tried to date during my first year over there. Fadhili was from a tribe in Angola that I stayed in while I was training a slayer named Enzi.”

“Girl or guy?” Faith asked.

“Guy.” Xander replied. “My first actually. We dated on the Q.T. for two months and then Enzi died. A tribe of demons had heard that there was a slayer in their territory and came to kill her. There were too many of them and a third of the tribe died along side her. I was hurt,” He pulled up his shirt and pointed to one of his many scars. “But I survived.”

“And your guy?” 

Xander stared at the far wall. “He survived too. He became the Chief when his father died from the injuries caused by the demons. I had to leave, more slayers to find and train and all that shit. After that I realised that relationships only work when you can commit to staying in one place for more than a few weeks, or months, and I wasn't about to become celibate so I had flings. Casual sex between friends, acquaintances, colleagues, even an enemy or two.”

“Woah!” Faith grinned. “There must be lots of little Xanders running around by now.”

Xander laughed. “Na, I pretty much stuck with guys over there.” When he saw Faith's surprised expression he grinned. “That's not too say that I don't appreciate a hot woman. But I prefer guys, and I really didn't want mini-Xanders running around Africa.”

“So you're pretty much a manwhore these days.” Faith said teasingly.

Xander grinned and leaned back on his arms. “And proud of it.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Faith turned to look at him. “So, enemies?”

Xander let out a bark of laughter. “Well the first time was a complete accident. I didn't realise that he was the chaos mage I was looking for until afterwards.”

“And the second time?”

“I was fighting a vamp. I was horny, he was hot, and I remembered Spike telling me once that vampires tend to be easy to get into bed. So I suggested that we take a break from the fight, and fuck. He agreed. He wasn't too bad, definitely not as good as I thought he would be though.” Xander shrugged. “I'm hoping Spike's better.”

Faith laughed loudly. “You called a truce with a vamp because you wanted to fuck him? Is he still out there?”

“Course not.” Xander snorted. “I staked him afterwards.”

Xander turned around when he heard the elevator door opened. Spike stepped out and leaned against the wall casually. 

“You two ready to go?”

“Sure. What'd Giles want?” Xander asked while helping Faith up.

Spike sneered. “He was just being a prat. I'll tell you about it once we're outa here.”

The three of them entered the elevator and Spike pressed the down button.

“I thought that I'd take the two of you out for Indian.” Xander suggested. “It's been years since I last had a good Indian curry.”

“Yeah, alright.” Spike nodded and then lead them out of the elevator when it stopped on the bottom floor. “There's a good place a few blocks from here.”

“Works for me.” Xander said as he manoeuvred between Faith and Spike and linking arms with both of them. “Lead the way, fangless.”

“You keep calling me that and I'll show you just how sharp my fangs are.” Spike growled.

Xander grinned and unlinked his arm from Spike so he could grab the vampire's arse. “Ooh, promise?”

Twenty minutes later the three of them were seated around a table in the Indian restaurant sipping on their drinks. Xander looked across to Spike who was looking pensive.

“So what happened with, Giles?”

“Well they haven't changed their minds about you.” Spike said grumpily. “I tried to talk him round but he wouldn't bloody listen.”

Xander let out a bitter laugh. “Course not. They've made up their minds, nothing will change it now. What else?”

“He's given the three of us a job.”

“How long a job? I'm due in Spain in three days.” Faith pointed out.

Spike sneered. “Apparently tomorrow we will be spending the day categorising the objects in the last council vault.”

Faith groaned. “Fuck! Not again. Why? I thought they had decided to leave the last one for a few years. We're fighters not fucking museum curators.”

“It's about me, isn't it?” Xander asked. “They want to lock me up, but they can't. So they're locking all three of us in a vault for the day instead.”

“Yeah.” Spike sighed before scowling. “They know about your teaching sessions and have decided that a dangerous monster like you shouldn't be allowed near the baby slayers. They can't lock you up yet though. Not with me, Faith, and Peaches on your side and Dawnie undecided. They'll want to try and talk Peaches and the Niblet around before doing anything rash.”

“Deadboy?” Xander stared at Spike incredulously. “Deadboy's on my side?”

“He knows what it's like, don't he? To have multiple spirits in his head. And he knows more about the ritual thing than the watcher does.” Spike replied with a shrug. 

“Still.” Xander stared at Spike. “Angel is agreeing with me rather than Buffy? God!” He sighed tiredly. “I feel like I'm in a different reality. Everything is so different now than it was four years ago.”

“So are you.” Faith pointed out.

“Yeah, I know.” Xander conceded. “I knew things would be different, but I wasn't expecting Deadboy to take my side. And Angel and Spike are getting along.”

“Oi!” Spike growled. “Take that back! I'll never get along with that wanker.”

“Oh come off it, Spike.” Xander rolled his eyes. “It's obvious that the two of you have made peace.”

“It is?” Faith asked. “Cos I gotta say, it ain't obvious to me.”

“It's all in the eyes.” Xander said. “Whenever Spike mentions Angel his eyes soften, it was the same at lunch. Whenever Angel looked at Spike his eyes would smile.”

“Huh.” Faith looked confused for a minute before turning towards her vampire friend. “When did that happen?”

Spike scowled. “It didn't. It's all in droopy's head.”

Xander raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. 

“Fine!” Spike growled. “When I was in L.A. Peaches and I came to an understanding of sorts.”

“So why the secrecy?” Xander asked.

“Can't you bloody read that in my eyes too?” Spike snarked.

Xander rolled his eyes. “You know, sulking isn't a particularly attractive trait in a vampire.”

“Bite me!”

Xander quickly shook his shoe off and moved his foot so it was resting gently on the vampire's crotch under the table, smirking when Spike jumped and then squirmed. 

“Oh I will.” He purred. “Over and over and over again.”

Their meals arrived then and the few minutes were silent as they began to eat.

“So what was with pretending to hate Angel?” Faith asked after a while.

“I dunno.” Spike tilted a head to the side in thought. “It's a new thing. We decided to ease every one else into the idea.”

“Fair enough.”

Xander leaned back in his chair. “How long do you think I have until they decide to slay me or lock me up?”

“A week at most.” Spike said. “You might wanna get out of here before then.”

“What will you do?” Faith asked. “Will you be ok? You said you haven't been being paid.”

Xander spun his fork on his hand. “I'll be fine. I've made provisions in case this happened.”

“And?” Faith asked. “What will you do?”

Leaning back in his chair, Xander looked at her. “Short version? Or long version?”

“Long version.”

“Just after the soul merging ritual I took a few weeks off. I wanted to understand my new abilities better. I was in the middle of a jungle when I ran across Riley. You remember how he was part of a demon hunting unit of the military? Well, he and his team were there trying to take on a clan of Groxlar demons that had been preying on one of the nearby villages. They were way over their heads. They had five fucking soldiers against six of the demons. I saved their arses and Riley pretty much hired me as a military consultant on the spot.”

“You're working for the army wankers who experimented on me?” Spike asked angrily. 

Xander shook his head. “No. I'm working for the army wankers who fought against the people who experimented on you. The ones who removed your chip.”

“What do you do for them?” Faith asked.

“I help them when they need it.” Xander said with a shrug. “Whenever they go up against a demon they don't know, or a demon that might beat them, they bring me in and I give them a hand.”

“And you'll just do it all the time now?” Faith asked. “Since you don't have to worry about watchering.”

“Yeah.” Xander said. “Riley's been trying to get me to work with him full time for over a year, he'll be thrilled.”

“Don't you have to follow orders in the army?” Spike asked raising an eyebrow. “Cos you've never exactly been great at following orders. And I imagine that you're even worse now.”

“Yeah, but I'm not in the army. Riley's pretty respected these days, lots of medals and all that shit. He worked it out so that I have the rank of Captain. I'm still not military, but anyone who's lower than a Captain has to treat me like I am.”

“But you still have to obey orders from some guys?” Faith asked.

“Sometimes.” Xander shrugged. “Not strictly, like I would if I was actually a soldier. Depends on the situation. Military consultants don't get a rank as high as Captain unless they're pretty fucking amazing, so I normally get a lot of respect from everyone.”

“And you get paid.” Faith said. “Sounds almost too good to be true.”

Xander laughed. “Yeah I thought so too at first. But it's legit.”

“You should ring soldier boy tonight.” Spike said. “Get things sorted out.”

“I'll do it in the morning.” Xander said before leering at Spike. “I have other plans for tonight.”

“And at that note.” Faith stood up. “I'm gonna leave you boys and patrol.” 

“You still patrol?” Xander asked. “Don't you have little slayer minions to do that for you?”

“I could.” Faith answered. “But I've never been good at letting other people do my work for me.”

Xander stood up as well and pulled her into a hug. “Have fun. We'll see you in the morning, yea?”

Faith hugged him back. “Yeah. Enjoy.” She wiggled her eyebrows teasingly.

Xander watched her leave before turning back to Spike. “Ready to go?”

“Bloody hell yes.” Spike grinned and stood. “I wanna see if you're really as good as you say.”

Xander leered at him in reply and then went to pay for their meal. 

 

3-3-3

 

Xander followed Spike into the apartment and looked around.

“So this where you live?”

“When I'm in London, yea.” Spike took of his coat and threw it over a chair.

“It's nice.” Xander walked over to look at what was obviously the weapons corner. He picked up a sword. “Where'd you get this?”

Spike walked to stand next to him. “Won it, didn't I? Off a bloody Sheynup demon. 'Parently there's something mystical about it.”

Xander swung the sword around to test its balance. “There is. This the Sword of Glavnock. It was forged in Greenland in 754 A.D. specifically to help the local village deal with their Tu'knma infestation. That's why is smaller than your average sword.”

“You sound like a bloody watcher.” Spike grumbled. “What's so mystical about it?”

Xander handed the vampire the sword. “Have you ever dealt with Tu'knma demons?” When Spike shook his head, he continued. “They're nasty little things. Can turn invisible if they want, which makes them damn hard to get rid of. Anyway, if you're touching the sword, you can see through their invisibility.”

“Huh.” Spike ran a hand over the blade. “Does it only word with Tu'knma demons? Or any kind of invisibility?”

“Any kind, according to the legends.” 

Spike put the sword down and turned towards Xander. “Nice bit of knowledge you've got there, pet. 'Nuf bout the swords now. We've better things to do tonight.”

Xander grinned turned towards Spike, before pushing him up against the wall with a hand. “That we do, fangless.”

He lifted Spike into the air slightly, so the vampire could only touch the ground with his toes, before cutting of any protests with a rough kiss. Spike grabbed Xander's shoulders and kissed back with fervour. After a few minutes, during which Spike had wrapped his legs around the the larger man's waist, Xander broke off the kiss.

“Bedroom?” Xander teasingly mouthed Spike's neck with his teeth, before gently biting down on his earlobe and tugging.

“Door next to the kitchen.” Spike answered, his head falling to the side to allow Xander more room to play.

“Right then.” Xander wrapped his arms around the blond man and then stepped away from the wall, carrying Spike with him. When they got the bedroom, Xander gently dropped Spike onto the bed before bending down for another kiss. Spike groaned into his mouth and then Xander felt hands at the bottom of his shirt, trying to tug it upwards. Xander reached down to help, only breaking the kiss to pull the shirt over his head, and then quickly stripped the vampire of his shirt as well. 

Xander pinched both Spike's nipples and smirked as the vampire arched off the bed. “You're so responsive.” He pinched them again.

“Yea.” Spike squirmed. “Angelus used to love it.”

“I can imagine.” Xander replied. “Does Buffy know about you two yet?”

“What about us?” Spike groaned as Xander's tongue poked into his bellybutton. 

“You know, that you used to fuck all those years ago.”

Spike shook his head. “Na, still oblivious to the world, she is. I have no idea how she has managed to fight vampires for more than ten years and still know nothing about sire childe relations.”

Xander laughed. “If she knew all that stuff, watchers would be redundant.” 

“And we couldn't have that, now could we?” Spike grinned.

 

3-3-3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – KakarikiKiwi – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

When Xander woke the next morning he groggily pushed himself up into a sitting position and then looked down at Spike who was sprawled out beside him, still asleep. Xander put his eye patch back on and eased himself off the bed,. He pulled on his boxers and jeans that had been flung across the room and a T-shirt from his bag, before quietly walking out the room. He closed the bedroom door behind him, and made his way into the kitchen. After putting the kettle on, he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialled Riley's number.

“Xander?” Riley sounded confused when he picked answered. “ You alright?”

Xander shook his head. This was what he got when he only rang when he was in trouble. 

“I'm fine, Riley. I need to talk to you about that job.”

There was silence for a moment before Riley spoke again. “You mean you'll take it? Stop watching little girls like a pervert and come hunting with real men?”

Xander rolled his eyes and leaned against a bench. “Yeah I think so. Watching isn't really an option for me any more.”

“Ah. So you told them then?”

“Yeah, I'm in London right now actually. Thought it was time.”

“You're safe?”

“For a few days at least.” Xander replied, searching the cupboards for mugs and coffee. “I'm staying with Spike at the moment. Giles has me, Spike, and Faith in a vault for the day categorising it or some shit. It'll be a few days before they decide to do anything stupid, like locking me up.”

“He's getting Faith and Spike to categorise?” Riley sounded amused and Xander held the phone in place with his shoulder so he could make the coffee. “I didn't take them as the categorising sort.”

“They're not.” Xander admitted. “But they're my guards while I'm in town and Giles wants to keep me away from the little slayers.”

“It's times like these that make me so fucking glad that I left you scoobies to rejoin the army.” Riley said with a laugh. “None of it makes sense to me.”

Xander laughed as he grabbed milk from the refrigerator. “I know what you mean. So, about that job. Is it still waiting for me?”

“Are you kidding me?” Riley asked. “You could put me off for another ten years and it would still be waiting for you. You're a fucking idol in my unit. Hell, I was talking to Colonel Higgens, who said he spoke to General Elms, and apparently the President has been briefed on you.”

“What?” Xander squeaked accidentally spilling some milk on the bench.

“Apparently your name came up in one of the President's Demon Briefings. I suppose there are only so many times you can save all our asses without the higher ups hearing about it.”

“Huh.” Xander stared at the coffee in front of him. “Fuck, really?”

“They're giving you a medal too.” Riley said, and Xander could hear the other man's smirk.

He groaned. “You're kidding. Can't I talk them out of it, or something?”

Riley laughed. “Nope. According to Higgens, the President requested all the files on you, and upon reading them, wanted to know why you have no medals. Turns out, you not wanting them wasn't a good enough excuse and they're giving you one anyway.”

Xander groaned again. “Damn.”

“When do you want to start?” Riley asked after a moment. “Right away? Or do you want some time off?”

“Two weeks maybe.” Xander said taking a sip of his coffee. “What exactly will I be doing? Same as normal?”

“Probably.” Riley said. “I'll need to talk to Higgens, who will need to talk to Elms, who will probably need to ask the President. Since you're so famous and all.”

“Oh fuck you.” Xander replied lazily. “Look who's talking Mr. I have eight medals and gained the rank of Lt. Colonel within ten years of joining the army.”

Riley just snorted.

“Well I'm going to go give Spike his morning coffee now.” Xander said after a moment of silence.

“Spike?” Riley asked incredulously. “You really have no shame, do you? I still can't believe you fucked Kindle, I didn't even know he was gay.”

“He's not gay.” Xander retorted. “He was curious and I had just saved his life. He wanted to show me his gratitude.”

“He might not have been gay then, but he sure is now.” Riley said. “He and Rattly have been fucking for months.”

“Really? Doesn't the army have a don't ask, don't tell policy?” Xander asked. 

“We do.” Riley sighed. “But the Demon Warfare Unit isn't exactly normal.”

“I've really gotta go.” Xander said. “Our coffee is getting cold, but I'll ring you later in the week, alright.” 

“Sure.” Riley replied. “Let me know if you get in any trouble.”

“Me? Trouble?” Xander laughed before closing the phone and slipping it in his pocket. He left the coffees on the bench for a moment and went to see whether Spike was up or not. He opened the door and found the vampire wearing jeans, and searching through his drawers for a shirt.

“Morning.” Xander leaned casually on the door frame. “There's coffee in the kitchen.”

Spike looked blearily at him before pulling on shirt. “Ta, luv. I'll be there in a sec. Is Faith up?”

“Faith?” Xander asked confused.

“The door next to the bookcase.” Spike replied. “Go wake her up, yea? We're supposed to be at the vault in half an hour.”

Xander raised his eyebrows in surprise but did as he was told. He knocked on the door next to the bookcase and then pushed the door open.

“Fuck off, Spike.” Faith's voice came from the direction of the bed, and Xander saw that she was laying sprawled out on the bed. “It's too fucking early.”

“Uh, not, Spike.” Xander pointed out moving to stand at the foot of bed. “Wakey wakey, Faith. Spike says we have to be at the vault in half an hour.”

“X?” Faith sounded confused for a moment before rolling over and staring at him. “Fine. I'm up, go make me some fucking coffee. I'll be out in ten minutes.”

Making Faith's coffee was much easier than making the previous ones had been, mostly because this time he knew where everything was. He was watching the kettle boil again when Spike emerged from his bedroom.

“Morning.”

“Morning. Coffee's on the bench.”

“Thanks, love. Is Faith up?” Spike took a mouthful of coffee before getting some blood out of the refrigerator.

“She said that she'd be out in ten minutes.” Xander replied. “I take it she lives here too?”

“Yea.” Spike poured the blood into a mug before putting it in the microwave. “Neither of are in town much so it's not much point having an apartment each. Works well for both of us.”

Xander nodded in understanding before taking another mouthful of coffee. “Where's this vault then?”

“Under the Council building. It'll take us about ten minutes to get there on foot.”

“Any bakeries on the way?” Xander asked. “I could really do with a doughnut for breakfast.”

“Not directly.” Spike replied. “But we can detour for it, doesn't matter if we're a few minutes late.”

“How about we run to the bakery?” Xander suggested. “There's nothing quite like a morning run.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Faith said coming into the kitchen. “I love a good run. Where's my coffee?”

Xander looked around for a second. “Fuck, sorry. I totally forgot. I'll have it made in a sec.”

“No skin off my back.” Faith answered with a grin before jumping up to sit on one of the benches. “Did you boys have a good night?”

“Bloody hell yes.” Spike said around his mug of blood. “Hyena stamina my arse, more like titan stamina.” 

“Really?” Faith grinned wickedly. “Did you get much sleep?”

“A few hours.” Xander said with a shrug, handing Faith her coffee. “When did you get in?”

“Around two.” Faith sipped at her coffee. “I went dancing after patrol. Had some fun. There was this big guy, and I mean big.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Feeling left out were you, luv?” Spike laughed before finishing off his coffee.

“Hell yes. It was either sit around here thinking about how much fun you guys were having, or go out and find some fun of my own. And boy did I find some fun.” She downed the last of her coffee quickly. “Time to go, yea?”

“Sure.” Xander followed both her and Spike out of the apartment. “What about the sun?”

“We'll take the sewers.” Spike answered. “You can get practically anywhere taking the sewers here.”

“Even the bakery?”

“Damn straight.” Faith grinned.

They made it to the Council building just on time, only a few minutes before eight, and saw Giles waiting for them in the reception area.

“Oh good you're here.” Giles frowned disapprovingly. “I am glad that you aren't late. I have many more important things I need to do this morning.”

“Good morning to you too, G-man.” Xander grinned. “So where's this vault thing?”

Giles' frown became more pronounced. “If you'll follow me.”

Xander rolled his eyes, but followed the older man into the elevator. He watched as Giles typed in a pin number causing the elevator to begin moving downwards.

Giles turned towards Faith. “I don't know how much Spike has told you. But I need you to begin to categorise the contents in the final vault. I am sure you remember the procedure from the last few vaults. There shouldn't be anything of value in this vault, it is known as the Odds and Ends vault for good reason.” He turned to glared in Xander's direction. “But make sure he doesn't steal anything. The surveillance cameras that will be on at all times for your protection.”

Xander sighed and leaned against the wall of the elevator.

“We'll be fine, Watcher.” Spike said as the elevator doors opened. “Don't worry your head over us.”

Giles gestured for the three of them to exit the elevator. “Someone will be down to bring you lunch.” 

Xander watched as the elevator doors closed and then turned around to look at the vault door. “How far below the surface are we?”

“Three levels.” Spike said pulling open the vault door. “There are another five below us.”

Xander followed Faith and Spike into the vault and looked around. “Wow, it looks like junk.”

“It is junk.” Faith growled. “The Odds and Ends Vault. Fucking hell, I thought the other ones were bad.” 

“So what exactly do we do?” Xander asked, walking further into the vault.

“First we try and make piles.” Spike said. “A weapons pile, a jewellery pile, a book pile, a who the hell knows what the fuck this is pile.”

“Huh.” Xander looked around and picked up a weirdly shaped stone. “I'm thinking the there are going to be a hell of a lot of stuff in that last pile.”

“I'll say.” Faith said. “We can put that pile outside of the vault for now.” She held up another weirdly shaped stone and sneered at it. “Did you talk to soldier boy yet, X?”

“Yeah this morning.” Xander replied. “Everything is sorted out. I start in two weeks.”

“What'll you do till then?” Spike asked as he sorted through some of the junk in one of the corners.

“I'll stay here until my welcome has run out, and then go on holiday for the rest of the time.” Xander said. “I might even go to L.A. for a few days if Angel will have me.”

“Keep in touch this time, yea?” Faith asked. “I wanna see you at least once a year.”

“Sure.”

They worked in silence, slowly sorting through the contents of the vault. Xander couldn't believe that the council had that much junk, because that was what it was. Occasionally they would come across a sword, only to find that it was rusted through. Faith found a book, but they soon realised that most of the pages were missing. 

After a few hours Xander snorted as he threw a weirdly shaped stone onto the pile outside the vault door.

“And another fucking rock! What the hell were the council idiots thinking? Did they think that stone would suddenly become a rare and expensive commodity? Cause that's the only reason I can think of, that they would store this many fucking rocks in a vault.”

Faith laughed. “Two weeks ago I would have told you that there was nothing more boring than organising a vault of old books, turns out there is – organising a vault of old rocks.”

“Hey, Xan,” Spike called from across the vault. “Your rock is glowing.”

“Huh?” Xander looked across at him confused. “Was that supposed to have dirty connotations? Cos I didn't get it.”

There was a flash of light and Xander closed his eyes for a moment. 

“Don't move!”

“Stay where you are!”

Xander opened his eyes and groaned. “Fuck!”

He looked around at the distinctly non-vault room he was now in and the men in American marine uniform who were pointing guns at him.

“I'm unarmed.” He called, which technically was a lie – he had three knives on his person, but who was counting? 

“Get down on the ground.” One of the men commanded. “Show me your hands.”

Xander angled his empty hands – what had happened to the last rock he had been holding? - towards the man and slowly moved onto his stomach.

“Someone get Colonel Sheppard and Doctor Weir.” The soldier shouted. “If you even consider moving, I will shoot you!”

Xander groaned into the floor, which was surprisingly warm for a marble surface, or something that looked a bit like marble anyway. Where the hell was he? And more importantly, how the hell gotten there? He considered the room he had seen. It was large, but unlike anything he had seen before. Not only was the architecture unique, but he had never seen the materials it was made out of before. There had been six men in army uniform, and two men in a non military uniform sitting at desk like things.

“What the hell is going on here, sergeant?” A male voice came from his left.

“He just appeared, sir.” The original soldier explained.

“He just appeared.” The new voice echoed slowly. “Is he armed?”

“I don't know sir. He told us he wasn't, but we didn't want to approach him without your orders.”

“He told you he wasn't.” The man repeated incredulously. “Really, Matthews?” The was a pause. “What's your name?”

“Xander.”

“Right then, Xander.” The man said cheerfully, but Xander could hear the danger underneath the cheer. “Are you armed? Think carefully, because if you lie to me, there will be consequences.”

Xander considered it. He had no idea where he was, and was surrounded by strange men with guns – he really wanted to keep his knives. On the other hand, he had no idea where he was and was surrounded by strange men with guns – pissing them off probably wasn't the smartest option. 

“Yeap.”

“Right then.” The man's tone was infinitely more dangerous now. “How exactly are you armed.”

Xander considered making a smart comment. Something along the lines of 'well, I've been arming myself since I was fifteen', but again with the strange men with guns.

“I've got three knives.”

“He really is unarmed.” One of the soldiers snorted. “Knives? Against our guns?”

Xander rolled his eyes at the soldiers stupidity.

“Zip it, Brown.” The man growled. “I've met men who are more dangerous with a butter knives than you could ever be with your gun.” 

Xander couldn't help a smirk. He had won a lot of money off Riley's soldiers because of that. They had claimed that knives were a useless primitive weapon. Xander had proved them wrong. Primitive they might be, useless they were not.

“Xander. You can sit up, slowly, and put the knives on the ground on front of you. Don't do anything that might piss me off, or they will all shoot you. Understand?”

Xander nodded and slowly pushed himself onto his knees. He looked around the room again and saw the man he had been speaking to. He was wearing an Air Force Colonel's uniform, and had a non-regulation haircut. First Xander removed the knife that was tucked against his lower back.

“Push it away.” The Colonel instructed.

Xander complied and then did the same for the knife on his right calf and the one on the back of his left shoulder.

“Sergeant, if you will.” The Colonel gestured towards the knives and waited until they had been picked up. “Now then, Xander, pirate who just appeared in my base, what are you?”

Xander raised his eyebrows in surprise, were these guys part of the Demon Warfare Unit? Since when had there been Air Force in that unit? 

“Uh, human. How 'bout you?”

The Colonel grinned. “Oh, I'm human too. So you're not an ancient, or a goa'uld, or some other kind of creepy alien?”

Alien? Xander knew that his disbelief was probably written all over his face. They thought he was an alien? So not part of D.W.U. then. So either all these men were insane, there really were aliens that the army had been secretly fighting as well as demons, or he was in an alternate dimension. He really wasn't sure which option was more likely, or even which option was preferable.

“No.” Xander shook his head. “I can safely say that I am not an alien, of any kind. What year is it? Actually, what's the date?”

The Colonel gave him a funny look. “Twenty eight of September, two thousand and seven.”

Xander nodded in relief, that had been the date when he woke up. “And, uh, was there a big national disaster about four years ago?”

“National disaster?” The Colonel looked at him like he was crazy. “Which nation?”

“Uh, Colonel?” One of the soldiers asked tentatively. “I think he means the Sunnydale disaster.”

Xander grinned for a moment. Brilliant, that cut the chances of this being an alternate dimension right down.

“Colonel Sheppard?” A tall woman called from the top of the stair as she began to walking down towards them. “Why is there a man kneeling in the middle of the gate room?”

“That's what we're trying to find out, Doctor Weir.” Colonel Sheppard replied.

“There is a team due to come through in about five minutes, Colonel.” Doctor Weir said. “Perhaps you could take this conversation elsewhere?”

Sheppard nodded and then turned back to Xander. “You have three options. Come quietly, and you won't get hurt; make my life difficult and I'll knock you out and you'll wake up with a headache, or make my life really difficult and get shot.”

“You'll hardly even know I'm here.” Xander promised him.

Sheppard's mouth twitched into a small grin before he turned back to his soldiers. “Take him to the brig. And someone get me McKay. Tell him that a strange man just appeared in the middle of the gate room, and to meet us in the brig with his scanning equipment.”

Xander obediently followed the soldiers through the corridors of wherever the hell they were. The more he saw, the stranger it seemed. He had never seen a building like this.

The soldiers were very efficient and within five minutes Xander was standing in a small cell which has a small forcefield around it. The existence of aliens was becoming more and more believable.

He leaned against the wall at the back of the cell and looked at Sheppard. “So you're an American Air Force Colonel then?”

The Sheppard looked surprised for a minute before nodding.

Xander grinned. “And the hair?” 

One of the soldiers sniggered and Sheppard glared at him.

“Where's McKay?”

“I'm here, I'm here.” A very obviously non military man with a Canadian accent rushed into the room, holding what looked like a I-Pad in his hand. “I can't just drop everything and come running whenever you call, Sheppard. I'm an incredibly busy man.”

“Sure you are.” Sheppard replied with a grin. “Coffee to drink, minions to annoy.”

McKay drew himself up with a huff. “I'll have you know that I am currently working on an equation that...”

“As interesting as I'm sure that would be, McKay.” Sheppard interrupted. “We have a surprise guest.” He gestured in Xander's direction. “This is Xander. He appeared in the middle of the gate room about fifteen minutes ago.”

McKay stared at Xander. “When you say appeared?”

“One second the floor was empty, the next second he was there.” The sergeant from earlier volunteered. “It was faster even than the Asgard beaming technology.”

McKay's eyes widened. “Right then.”

“Did you bring your scanning equipment?” Sheppard asked.

“I don't need it.” McKay replied tapping on the I-Pad. “I figured out how to use the scanning systems the ancients left in place last week.” He looked up at Sheppard. “I sent you a report.”

Sheppard rolled his eyes and waved a hand dismissively. “You need to tell me these things, McKay. What does the scan say?”

“Just a minute.” McKay muttered, tapping on the I-Pad again. “Well he's human, and he really is missing an eye. No weapons on him, he's definitely not a Goa'uld, no strange energy readings. Huh.” He looked up at Xander in surprise.

“What?” Sheppard asked impatiently.

“He's from earth.” McKay replied.

“How can you tell?” Questioned one of the soldiers.

“He has fillings in his teeth, made from the same dental amalgam that we use on earth.”

“The scan tells you that?” Sheppard asked doubtfully. 

“The Ancients were geniuses, John!” McKay said indignantly. “I think that once I understand this scanner better it will be able to show me people's DNA, no blood tests required.”

“So he's a man from earth then.” Sheppard asked. “Any idea how he got here?”

McKay shook his head. “No, but he does have the ATA gene. Are you going to question him now?”

“We're waiting for Doctor Weir.” Sheppard said. 

“Shouldn't you move him?” McKay asked. “To an interrogation room or something? It's kind of hard to see him through the bars.”

“Do we have an interrogation room?” Sheppard asked.

“Well, no.” McKay admitted. “Not technically. But we do have rooms with a table and chairs. I'm sure you could use that.”

“Fine.” Sheppard sighed, as he opened the cell door. “Come on.”

“Oh joy.” Xander rolled his eyes. “A game of musical prisons.”

Ten minutes later Xander was sitting on a chair across the table from Sheppard and McKay, glaring at a soldier holding handcuffs.

“Are those really necessary? I'm unarmed, you have three guns pointed directly at me, and you just confirmed that I'm only human. What am I going to do? How about if I promise to keep my hands on the table at all times.”

“He has a point.” McKay said, all his attention on his I-Pad. “What's one unarmed one-eyed man going to do against four soldiers with guns?”

“Exactly.” Xander put on his most innocent and harmless smile. 

Sheppard narrowed his eyes and gestured for the soldier to put the cuffs on him. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes. McKay kept working on his I-Pad and Sheppard stared at Xander thoughtfully. Finally the door opened and the woman from before, Doctor Weir, entered the room and sat next to Sheppard.

Sheppard leaned back in his chair. “What's your name?”

“Xander. What's yours?”

“Colonel John Sheppard.” Sheppard replied. “I'm the military commander here.” He gestured towards the woman. “This is Doctor Elizabeth Weir, she is the civilian commander, and that is Doctor Rodney McKay – our Head Scientist.”

Xander nodded in greeting. “And where is here, exactly?”

“What's your full name?” Sheppard countered.

“Alexander Harris, military consultant.”

Sheppard's eyes narrowed again. “You're a military consultant? What exactly do you consult on?”

Xander smirked a little. “Sorry, that's classified. Where are we?”

“The Pegasus Galaxy.” Doctor Weir replied, clasping her hands on the table in front of her. “We are an International expedition from earth. How did you get here?”

“I have no idea.” Xander shrugged. “One minute I'm helping a friend organise their basement and the next I'm here.”

McKay leaned forward. “You didn't notice anything? What were you touching when you arrived?”

“There was a bright light and I closed my eyes.” Xander said. “When I opened them again all I saw were soldiers and guns. I was holding a stone thing, I have no idea what it was, but just before I disappeared Spike said that it was glowing.”

“Spike?” Weir asked.

“He's a friend who was in the basement with me.” Xander explained.

“What happened to the stone?” McKay asked. “Do you still have it?”

Xander shook his head. “No. I have no idea where it's gone.”

“Do the words Stargate, Astria Porta, or Chappa'ai mean anything to you?” Weir asked.

Xander thought for a minute. “Not Chappa'ai, but Astria Porta translates to the Gate of the Stars, which could be loosely translated to Stargate, I suppose – though only if the translator was incredibly incompetent. There was a legend.” He frowned for moment. “Of false gods who came to earth through the Astria Porta but were defeated. And the Anquietees? Anquietas? Who created the Astria Porta. They were said to have been great praecantators who defeated the old ones before leaving earth.”

“How do you know that?” Weir asked.

“I read it.” Xander said with a shrug, he turned towards Sheppard. “You asked what I did for the military, me knowing these kind of things is part of my job.”

“Your job is to know about the stargate?” Sheppard asked disbelievingly. “And you haven't heard about us?”

“No.” Xander shook his head. “Not that in particular. My job is to know the legends and history.”

“So you're a geek?” Sheppard asked and he relaxed slightly.

Xander laughed. “Yeah, I guess you could call me that.”

Sheppard raised his eyebrows. “And the knives?”

Xander shrugged and tried to look sheepish. “When you get kidnapped and tied up as much as I do you learn to carry knives to try and cut yourself out. My boss said I had carry them at all times.”

“No gun?” Sheppard asked.

This time Xander aimed for a self-deprecating expression. “After I shot both myself and a team mate in the leg on the same day they decided it was better for everyone if I didn't have one.”

Sheppard elbowed McKay with a grin. “He's like you, McKay.” He turned back to Xander. “How did you loose the eye?”

“Some bastard poked it out with his thumb.” Xander answered with a shrug.

“Right.” Sheppard drawled. “Sure. You'll understand that I can't let you wander around the base until we get confirmation that you are who you say you are.”

Xander nodded. “Of course. If you have trouble getting hold of my file ask for General Elms.”

“We will, thank you, Mr. Harris.” Weir smiled.

Xander gave his most charming smile. “Xander, please.”

“We won't lock you in the brig again.” Sheppard said. “I'm gonna put you in one of the guest rooms.” He turned towards McKay. “You can lock him in there right? And we'll put guards on the door.”

Xander grinned. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

Xander was lying on a bed looking at the ceiling. Apparently the Military Base he wasn't due to check in with earth for a few days and, while Sheppard and Weir were willing to make unscheduled contact, it would take a few hours to get everything organised. He had been locked inside the room for hours, a windowless room at that, and he was bored. 

He was in a different galaxy, fuck! But not a different dimension, which was definitely a plus. Faith and Spike would be worried, and he wished that could see Giles' face when he realised that Xander had literally disappeared into thin air.

He didn't know what was going to happen. Would he be sent back to earth? Could they send him back to earth? He presumed that they were using the Astria Porta, but the legends had never been particularly clear on how it worked. He was, however, incredibly glad that he had managed to convince them that he was relatively harmless, he didn't fancy the idea of spending time in a cell.

Harmless, ha. He hoped that he got to see their faces when they saw his file. He hadn't actually seen it himself, but Riley had told him that it pretty much described him as a new and improved ruthless version of Captain America – turns out Riley was a bit of a closet geek too.

There was a knock on the door and Xander sat up in time to see it open. A large man and a tiny woman, both of whom were obviously fighters. He stood up.

“Hello.”

Both of them narrowed their eyes and the man dove towards him angrily. Xander quickly ducked out of the way and kicked the man's legs out from under him.

“I come in peace.” Xander said quickly holding his hands out in surrender as the woman pointed a gun at him. “He attacked me!”

“You have lied to Colonel Sheppard.” The woman said. “You are no more a geek than Ronon or I.”

Xander nodded seriously. “No, I'm not. But I mean no harm.”

“Then why lie?” The large man growled as he pulled himself to his feet.

Xander raised his hands in surrender. “In a few hours they are going to contact Earth and find out that I'm on their side. I knew that they would imprison me until then and I didn't want them to put me in the brig. It was uncomfortable.” 

“So you lied to them.” Ronon growled out, and Xander couldn't help notice how attractive the other man was. Maybe he could convince them to let him stick around for a few days.

“Well, personally, I prefer to think of it as allowing them to draw their own conclusions. Though I did lie a little.”

They both looked at him with narrowed eyes before the woman stepped forward and performed a small bow.

“Very well. We will not tell John, however we will stay with you until they speak to earth. I am Teyla Emmagan and my companion is Ronon Dex. We are both from this galaxy.”

Xander mimicked her bow. “I am Alexander Harris, but I am called Xander. It is an honour to meet you. How can I help you?”

Teyla smiled. “We have come to invite you to eat with us. It is time for our evening meal.”

“And it's alright with Colonel Sheppard?” Xander asked.

“Of course. We would not have suggested it if it was not. He will meet us in the dining hall.” Teyla replied with another smile.

“Then, yes, thank you. I would love to join you.”

“Good.” Ronon growled.

As they were walking through the corridors again, Xander realised that Ronon was watching him. He raised an eyebrow in question.

“There are no warriors of your skill among the soldiers here.” Ronon commented after a few minutes. “Teyla is the only person that can come close to matching me in this city.”

Xander just nodded. That wasn't particularly surprising.

“Are there many more like you on earth?” Teyla asked. “You were faster than even the wraith.”

Xander shrugged. “A few. The wraith?”

“I believe John likens them to vampires.” Teyla said calmly. “They feed from the life-force of the people in this galaxy.”

“Vampires?” Xander asked incredulously. “You're fighting space vampires?”

Teyla let out a sad laugh. “That is what John describes them as, yes. They view the people of this galaxy as their livestock.”

“Fuck.” Xander said. “That's terrible. And the planets here can't fight them?”

“My world tried. They are all dead.” Ronon said gruffly. “Sheppard and his men are our only chance.”

“Fuck.” Xander said again. “The town I grew up in is gone.” He admitted after a moment. “Four years ago, we were facing a creature that was far more powerful than us. We defeated it, but at the loss of our homes and many of our friends.”

“I am sorry for your loss.” Teyla said softly. “What have you done since losing your home?”

“I travelled around my world teaching others how to protect their towns, and fighting monsters where I could find them. Once my home was gone, I didn't want to stay in one place.”

“And your family?” Teyla asked.

“All dead.” Xander admitted. “They died along with my home.”

Xander stopped when they entered a large room that was obviously the mess. Teyla and Ronon led him towards the food and Teyla guided him towards the more palatable food. Apparently, not all alien food was tasty. The three of them walked to a table where Sheppard and McKay were eating, McKay was still concentrating on his I-Pad.

“Hello again.” Xander smiled his most disarming smile and sat opposite Sheppard. Beside him, Ronon snorted.

“Hey.” John grinned at them. “I see that you've met our resident aliens.”

Xander tried a mouthful of the green mushy mixture and almost spit it out. It was disgusting.

“Fuck.” He spluttered after forcing himself to swallow. “What the hell is that?”

“Peas.” McKay explained dryly. “Mushy peas so mushed they no longer have form.”

“I hate peas.” Xander glared at his plate. “Brussel sprouts I can handle, eggplant even isn't a problem, but peas are gross.”

Sheppard laughed. “We'll be dialling earth in about ten minutes and Elizabeth has decided that you should be there. So eat up quickly.

Xander poked the pile of mushed peas with a grimace before trying the brown gloop. Surprisingly it wasn't too bad.

“Xander was just telling us that his place of birth was destroyed during a battle against an opponent of superior strength.” Teyla told Sheppard.

Sheppard's eyebrows rose. “Sunnydale?”

Xander nodded and swallowed his mouthful of gloop. 

“An opponent of superior strength?” Sheppard asked disbelievingly. 

Xander grinned. “Sorry, it's classified.”

John frowned at him. “Is that when your eye got poked out?”

Xander swallowed his mouthful. “Yeah.”

Sheppard opened his mouth, but then stopped and put a hand to his ear. “We'll be there in five.” He stood up. “Time to go.”

Xander followed the group out of the mess hall before turning to McKay. “So you use the Astria Porta to contact Earth? How does it work?”

“Wait and see.” Sheppard answered before McKay could. 

Xander nodded and walked in silence until they arrive back to the gate room where Doctor Weir was waiting for them.

“We're going to dial out in just under a minute.” Doctor Weir greeted them, she turned her attention to Xander. “Before I do, is there anything more information you can give me?”

Xander shrugged. “The easiest thing to do would be to General Elms. If you can't get through to him, tell them that there is a Ladonithia situation.”

“A Ladonithia situation.” Sheppard repeated disbelievingly.

Xander grinned at him. “Sorry. Classified.”

“Dial the gate.” Doctor Weir commanded one of the men sitting at the desks.

Lights began to appear on the giant metal ring directly behind where Xander had originally appeared. He took a few steps closer, so that he was standing against the rails of the balcony, and stared at it. 

He presumed that the ring was the Astria Porta. It was certainly amazing, and definitely supported the space, alien story. There wasn't a civilisation on earth, human or demon, that made things like that. The small lights along the inside rim of the giant ring seemed to make up patterns. The way the patterns were portrayed made them look like star constellations, but Xander didn't recognise any. Which admittedly made sense if they were in a different galaxy.

Suddenly blue something burst from the ring and then melted back to leave the blue stretch across the inside of the ring. Fuck! It was beautiful.

“Stargate Command?” Doctor Weir said. When Xander turned around he saw her holding a hand up to her ear like Sheppard had before. “This is Doctor Weir from Stargate Atlantis.”

There was a long pause during which Xander presumed someone was replying.

“Yes, I am aware of that.” Doctor Weir said. “But we have a situation. I need to speak to General O'Neill immediately.”

“A situation.” Sheppard snorted. “A random guy just appears, without any explanation, and we call it a 'situation'. How did my life get so weird?”

“General O'Neill.” Doctor Weir said with a small smile. “This is Elizabeth Weir.” There was another long pause. “Approximately four hours ago, a man appeared in our gate room.”

“We have no idea, General.” Pause. “Well he's definitely from earth.” Pause. “He says he picked up a rock in a friend's basement and the next thing he knew he was here.” Pause. “Apparently he is a Military Consultant for the United States Army.” Pause. “Alexander Harris.” Pause.

Doctor Weir turned around to stare directly at Xander, causing Sheppard to stiffen and place a hand on his gun. “Is that right?” Pause. “No, he told us he was a geek.” Pause. “Huh. He suggested that the best person for me to talk to would be General Elms.” Pause. “I can wait.”

Xander grimaced as Doctor Weir pressed a hand to ear again and then raised her eyebrows at him.

“A geek, huh?”

Xander shrugged. “It seemed the easiest answer at the time. Technically I do count as a geek.”

“Yes.” Doctor Weir replied dryly. “And apparently so much more. You could have told me that you were famous, you know.”

“Famous?” Xander asked incredulously. “What? No, I mean Riley did tell this morning that the President had been briefed on me. But that's totally different. Besides, pretty much everything I do is classified.”

“The President?” Sheppard asked, his hand still on his gun. “So is he safe, Elizabeth? Or should I shoot him.”

Elizabeth laughed. “No, he's safe. Just not nearly as harmless as he let on.” 

“No one ever is.” Sheppard grumbled. “How dangerous are we talking here?”

“From what I have seen I suspect he would be easily be able to best Ronon in a fight.” Teyla told him serenely.

“You knew? Why didn't you tell me? He could have hurt someone.”

“I was confident that he would not hurt any one.” Teyla answered. 

“Next time tell me.” Sheppard ordered. 

“Very well.” Teyla bowed shallowly towards Sheppard. “I will do as you ask.”

“Thank you.” Sheppard replied as he turned to Weir. “Why aren't we just chucking him through the gate?”

“Because that would be rude.” Weir said, then she put a hand up to her ear again and motioned for silence. “Hello, General Elms? This is Doctor Elizabeth Weir of the Atlantis Expedition. General O'Neill told me that you were read in on the program?” Pause. “Yes, we do have Alexander Harris here.” Pause. “No we don't know how he got here.” Pause. “No, he claims not to have any idea either.”

After another long pause Doctor Weir turned to one of the men at the desk. “Can you get our guest an ear piece please.”

Twenty seconds later Xander inserted the small device into his ear and grinned as he heard the General's voice.

“...crazy stunts he's pulled, this is the worst. Another galaxy? Jesus! The trouble that boy gets into.”

“Why, General.” Xander simpered. “You say the nicest things.”

“Harris!” General Elms snapped. “What the fuck do you think you're doing? Another galaxy? You're in another fucking galaxy?”

Xander laughed and leaned against the balcony. “So it would seem, sir. If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't exactly a planned trip.”

“No it doesn't make me feel any fucking better!” General Elms growled. “This morning when Finn told be that you had accepted the job offer I was over the fucking moon. Jesus, I practically skipped to my meeting with the Joint Chiefs. I was that fucking excited, Harris. And then you went and shit all over my happiness.”

Xander laughed again, ignoring the looks he was receiving from both Weir and Sheppard who had apparently been linked into his conversation. 

“I'm sorry, General. But this doesn't change anything. I'm sure I'll be shipped home in time to start in two weeks.”

“Unfortunately that isn't going to happen.” General Elms snapped. “I was in a meeting with President and the Joint Chiefs when I got O'Neill's call and they have decided that it's meant to be. You're stuck there, Harris. Apparently they're fighting some kind of space vampire. The President along with the Joint Chiefs have agreed that to have someone with your expertise out there is just what they need.”

Xander groaned. “Fucking hell! What expertise? I've never even heard of space vampires. What possible help could I be?”

“Suck it up.” General Elms snapped. “You think you've got it bad? We're about to go up against a fucking nest of Prio Motu demons.”

“Shit!” Xander winced. “Who are you sending?”

“Well I was going to send you and Finn's team. Now we're fucked.”

“I have two people for you if you're interested.” Xander said after a moment.

“Go on.”

“Riley knows them.” Xander continued. “Spike's one of the vampires with a soul and Faith's one of the original slayers. I'm pretty sure they would both be open to the idea of switching employers.”

“They as good as you?” 

“Individually? No.” Xander replied with a shrug. “But together, they can beat me easily.”

“A Vampire and a Slayer.” General Elms didn't sound enthused.

“They have my absolute trust.” Xander said. “Besides, Spike's been around for almost a hundred and thirty years. He's pretty much a demon encyclopaedia all on his own. Approach them gently, sir. Spike was one of the vampires who were experimented on by The Initiative.”

“Fine. I'm sending your full file to Colonel Sheppard.” General Elms said briskly. “The unedited version. Including all the new additions like your new medals and the commendation from the President.”

“Fuck!” Xander groaned. “Riley told me it was just one medal.”

“Yeah, well, Finn lied.” General Elm's smirk was audible. “I think he was worried that if you heard exactly how many you're getting, you'd refuse to come back.”

“How many am I getting?” Xander asked cautiously. 

“Six.”

Out of the corner of his eye Xander could see both Weir and Sheppard staring at him in surprise, he grimaced. “And I can't politely refuse?”

“No, you damn well cannot.” General Elms snapped. “Just thank your lucky stars I managed to talk the President and the SECARMY down to six, Harris.”

Xander grimaced again at the thought of even more medals. “Yes, sir.”

“The details will be in your file.” General Elms said. “I'm sure Colonel Sheppard will let you see it if you're interested. Now how the fuck do I get in contact with the Slayer and the Vampire?”

Xander frowned slightly as he thought about it. “Send Riley to talk to them. He'll need to do it before Thursday.”

“And where exactly should I send Finn, Harris?” The General's scowl was practically audible.

“Forty eight, G, Vogel Street.” Xander rattled off. “I don't know what part of London, but it's a ten minute run from the Watchers' Council. Have Riley tell them that I said sometimes Chaos Demons just happen. That I'm safe and that I said they should take the job.” Xander said.

“Chaos Demons?” General Elms asked.

“They relatively harmless, sir.” Xander explained. “But they have giant antlers that constantly ooze slime.”

“Are you fucking with me, Harris?” The General snapped.

“No, sir.” Xander chuckled lightly. “Spike will understand it.”

“Alright then.” The General said. “Good luck, Xander. Kick some arse out there for us.”

“Thank you, sir.” Xander replied.

There are a long pause before another voice was heard. “Doctor Weir?”

“We're still here, General O'Neill.” Doctor Weir replied.

“Good. Harris' file is being sent through now. Confirm when it's received.”

“Chuck?” Dr. Weir questioned one of the civilians sitting in front of a computer. “Have we received a data package from the S.G.C.?”

The civilian looked up. “Yes, ma'am. What would you like me to do with it?”

“Data received, General.” Dr. Weir replied, ignoring Chuck's question.

“Good luck, Elizabeth.” General O'Neill said. “I'll speak to you further during you next scheduled check in. I look forward to hearing how Harris works out.”

“I'll let you know.” Dr. Weir said with a small smile. “Atlantis out.” She gestured for Chuck to switch off the Stargate. “Can you send that file to both Colonel Sheppard and myself please, Chuck.”

“And me!” Dr. McKay put in.

“And Dr. McKay.” Dr. Weir conceded.

“Yes, ma'am.” Chuck replied. “All done. It'll be waiting for you all in your inboxs.”

“Thank you.” Dr. Weir turned to look at Xander. “If you would hand your earpiece to Chuck and follow me, Mr. Harris.”

“ Yes, ma'am.” Xander nodded and dug the earpiece out of his ear. He followed to Dr. Weir into one of the nearby offices and then stood near the door.

Colonel Sheppard strode past him and fell into one of the chairs. A few moments later Dr. McKay wandered into the room is well, his concentration back on the I-Pad he had been using before.

“Sit down, Mr. Harris.” Dr. Weir commanded from her chair behind the desk.

Xander sat in the remaining chair, which was beside Colonel Sheppard, and steadily meet Weir's gaze.

“You lied to us.” Dr. Weir accused.

“Yeah.” Xander shrugged apologetically. “Sorry about that.”

“Do you have an explanation why you felt it was necessary?”

“I didn't want to end up in a cell.” Xander shrugged again. “And I knew the minute you called home you'd figure out who I was you wouldn't want to lock me up anyway. No harm, no foul.”

Doctor Weir scowled disapprovingly. “You seem to have quite the reputation back home.”

“Only in some circles.” Xander said. “What I do is just as confidential as what you do, so only those read into the program know of me.”

“And what is it exactly that you do?” Dr. Weir asked. “You mentioned demons? And vampires?”

“Yeah.” Xander grinned at her. “Simply put, demons exist just as much as aliens apparently do.”

“Demons?” Sheppard sounded sceptical. “As in religious demons?”

“No.” Xander explained. “Vampires, werewolves, the whole lot of them and for the most part they're all pretty evil.”

“So you fight them?” Sheppard still sounded sceptical.

“Yeah. Though I'm a bit of a geek as well.” Xander defended his earlier half-truths. “I know a lot about different demons and how to fight them, I'm just really good at fighting them as well as good at recognising them.”

“No wonder your job is classified.” Sheppard muttered. 

“And you think you can help us out here?” Dr. Weir asked.

“I have no idea.” Xander answered truthfully. “To be honest, Dr. Weir, I have no idea what you're facing out here. Ronon said something about you having Space Vampires, but I doubt they're like anything I've ever fought before. So I really doubt much of my knowledge will be at all helpful.”

“You have heard of the Stargate before though.” McKay commented absently, still focussed on his I-Pad. “And the Ancients, could be you've read something useful – though I doubt it.”

“Great.” Sheppard sighed. “Well helpful or not, looks like we're stuck with you, Harris.”

Xander sat up straighter, his pride stung by the Sheppard's tone. “I said my knowledge probably wouldn't be much help, Colonel. Not that there was nothing I could do. I'm not just a researcher, I was the best fighter in the Unit I worked with.”

Sheppard turned to look him over with raised eyebrows. “Really?”

Xander rolled his eye. “Just point me at your best fighter and then you can judge for yourself.”

“Excellent idea.” Dr. Weir nodded. “Come back once you're done please, Mr. Harris. I should have at least gotten the brief overview of your file by then.”

“He has six medals.” McKay exclaimed suddenly. 

Xander grimaced at the memory. “What medals are they? Does it say?”

“You don't know?” McKay asked incredulously. “How can you not know?”

“I only heard about them today. I know I've probably got the Commander's Award. They tried to give it to me a year ago but I managed to talk Higgens out of it.” Xander explained.

“What are they, McKay?” Sheppard asked.

“Commander's Award for Civilian Service,” McKay started. “Meritorious Civilian Service Award, Decoration For Exceptional Civilian Service, and three Secretary Of The Army's Awards For Valor.”

“Fuck really?” Xander whined, letting his head fall back onto the chair behind him. “Damn them.”

Sheppard chuckled. “At least being here means that you don't have to deal with a big ceremony.”

“True.” Xander agreed. He stood up and bounced lightly. “We going to go or what? I wanna spar.”

Sheppard stood with a smirk. “This should be fun.”

“I don't want anyone hurt, John.” Dr. Weir instructed. “I don't want to have to explain to O'Neill that we broke our new Specialist on his first day.”

Xander let out a laugh. “Don't worry about me. Who will I be fighting?”

“Ronon.” Sheppard answered, his smirk widening. 

“John.” Weir warned him. 

“I'll be fine, Dr. Weir.” Xander with a smirk of him own, apparently Sheppard had forgotten all about Teyla's comment. “I have no problem with getting hot and heavy with the sexy alien.”

Weir, Sheppard and McKay all turned to stare at him.

“You're gay?” McKay finally asked with slight squeak. 

“Mostly.” Xander shrugged with a smirk.

“This is a Military Base.” Colonel Sheppard said with a frown.

Xander raised one hand and wriggled his fingers at the man. “Hello, civilian here. I can fuck whoever I like.”

Weir laughed lightly. “Just don't cause too many waves, Mr. Harris. If I have to call you in here to talk about your sex life I will be very unhappy.”

“Yes, ma'am.” Xander grinned at her. “I'll be discrete, I promise. And call me Xander, please.”

“Alright, Xander.” Dr. Weir nodded. “Go and spar, John. I want to get a look at this file.”

Sheppard nodded abruptly and began walking towards the door. “Have fun, Elizabeth.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.
> 
> Also, I know nothing about any kind of fighting. So I did my best, sorry about any mistakes.

Once out of Weir's office, Sheppard put his hand to his earpiece. “Ronon, I need you in the Sparring Room.” 

Xander smirked, he was really looking forward to sparring with the other man.

“Are you coming, Rodney?” Sheppard asked the scientist.

McKay looked up from his I-Pad indignantly. “Yes, of course I am.”

Sheppard's mouth quirked into a grin. “What about all those important equations you working on when Harris first arrived?”

McKay glared. “I can multi-task!”

“Right then.” Sheppard began to stride down the hall, and both Xander and McKay quickly started after him. 

“Can I have my knives back?” Xander asked after a minute of walking in silence.

Sheppard turned to look at him. “Not until I know what you're capable of.”

Xander smirked at him. “Are you worried that I'll kill someone? Or that I'm a clumsy buffoon who'll accidentally put someone's eye out?”

“Both.” Sheppard replied shortly.

“But once I prove capable of handling them properly, you'll give them back right?” Xander questioned worriedly. He really liked those knives.

“Once you've proven to me that you don't prove a threat to my city, I'll return your weapons.” Sheppard promised.

Xander wasn't reassured. “What does that mean? Doesn't the fact that the President ordered me to stay here prove that I'm not a threat.”

“Not really.” McKay piped up. “He could have been taken over by a Goa'uld.”

Xander frowned slightly as he tried to remember where he'd heard that word before. “What's a Goa'uld.”

“They are a race of sentient parasitic beings that primarily use human beings as their hosts.” McKay explained. “We don't have them out here in this Galaxy, but up until recently they pretty much ruled the Milky Way Galaxy.”

Xander blanched. “When you say parasitic beings...?”

“They're ugly little worm things that burrow into a person's brain and take total control of them.” Sheppard said shortly as they turned off the hall they had been walking down and into a large room.

The room was obviously the Sparring Room and was very similar to the one at the Watchers' Council. Well, besides the fact that the room was occupied by soldiers instead of teen aged girls.

Xander took a minute to look around before turning to Sheppard. “Do you have any track pants I can borrow or something? I really hate fighting in jeans.”

Sheppard looked down at Xander's jeans with a disapproving frown before striding to the left of the gym where there was a door. Xander easily matched the man's step and followed him through the door and into a locker room of sorts. There were lockers, benches and showers, everything that would normally be in a locker room on earth, but like every other thing Xander had seen on the base the architecture was very alien.

Xander looked across the room at Sheppard who was rummaging through a locker. “So what exactly do I have to do to get my knives back?”

Sheppard turned around and scowled at him before throwing him a pair of army green sweat pants. 

“Put those on. Will you need a shirt?”

Xander shook his head as he undid the button of his jeans and pushed them down. “No. I can fight shirtless.” He shot the Colonel a smirk. “I can spar pantless too, but I wouldn't want to corrupt your soldiers virtues.”

Sheppard laughed for a moment before scowling again. “I suppose we'll need to find you some clothes if you're here permanently.”

Xander kicked off the jeans and pulled on the sweat pants. “Can I get stuff like what your aliens were wearing? I've spent the last four years in the wilderness. Yesterday was the first day I've worn jeans in years.”

“What the fuck were you doing in the wilderness?” Sheppard asked.

“Long story or short story?” Xander asked as he started undoing the buttons on his shirt. Of all the days to be pulled into a different galaxy, it had to be the one when he was wearing impractical clothes.

Shard stared at him for a moment before leaning against the lockers behind him. “Long story.”

“Up until this morning I've only been working for the D.W.U. on a part time basis.” Xander started.

“D.W.U.?” Sheppard interrupted.

“Demon Warfare Unit.” Xander explained. “I've known one of the guys in the Unit, Lieutenant Colonel Riley Finn, for eight years and so I helped them out every now and again. Up until yesterday I was mostly working for the International Watchers Council who are another group who fight demons, only they do it differently.”

“Differently how?” Sheppard asked.

“As well as demons existing there are also super-powered humans. It's complicated, but there are hundreds of girls out there with mystical super strength whose job it is to fight demons.”

“Girls?” Sheppard asked. “Seriously?”

Xander laughed. “Yeah, I know. I can explain more about them later if you want, or you could just read my file, the basics are all in there. But anyway, these girls just pop up all around the world and, because it's a secret, they have no idea why they're so strong. My job was to find the ones in tribal Africa and either teach them about demons or, if their family agreed, send them to the training centre in London.”

“You know you sound insane, right?” Sheppard asked.

Xander shrugged. “Yeah, but it's all in my file though, so that should make it easier to believe.”

Sheppard didn't look particularly convinced. “So what changed in the last few days? Why are you working for the military now?”

Xander cracked the joints in his neck thoughtfully. “Two years ago something happened today to make me a lot stronger than the average human and yesterday I told the Watchers Council about it. They weren't particularly impressed. Last I heard they were trying to decide how to lock me up without actually locking me up.”

Sheppard's hand moved immediately to sit on his gun. “What happened to you?”

Xander sighed. “It's a really long story and it will be particularly hard for you to understand since to you don't know much about mystical crap. But it's all in my file. It would be best if you read that and then came to me with your questions.”

Sheppard looked him up and down warily. “If you hurt any of my men...”

“I won't.” Xander promised. “Well, Ronon might end up with a bruise or two, it depends how hard you want us sparring.”

For a moment Sheppard looked as though he wanted to forbid Xander to spar with anyone, but then he nodded grudgingly. 

“Fine.”

“Uh, so you never actually answered my question about my knives.” Xander pestered him. “What do I have to do to get them back?”

“Prove to me that you're not a threat.” Sheppard said as he made his way out of the locker room.

“Yeah,” Xander huffed in frustration as he followed Sheppard. “But what does that mean?”

“We'll see.” Sheppard replied. “I'll let you know once I've read your file. A trip to both the doctor and the shrink will definitely be involved.”

Xander groaned loudly. “Oh come on! Can't you just trust the fact that the President apparently trusts me? As well as the SECARMY?”

Sheppard shook his head. “Nope.”

“Because they might be a Goa'uld?” Xander asked, just as sceptical about the idea as Sheppard seemed to be about vampires.

“Yeap.” Sheppard replied. 

Xander frowned at the thought. “I take it that would be bad? Because you guys didn't exactly tell me much about them.”

“We told you just as much about them as you've told us about your fucking vampires.” Sheppard said with a scowl. “And yes that would be very bad. They enslave entire planets of people, claiming to be gods. And they have these creepy glowing eyes.”

Suddenly Xander remembered where he'd heard of them before, they'd come up in all the research the Scooby gang had done all those years ago when they were trying to figure out what Glory was.

“Right. So the President being taken over by one would definitely be bad.”

Sheppard shot him an exasperated look and then walked towards the two aliens from before.

“Sheppard.” Ronon grunted in greeting.

“Ronon.” Sheppard nodded. “Harris will be sticking around for awhile and I want to see what he can do.”

“So you want me to spar with him.” Ronon said flatly looking across at Xander.

“Yeap!” Sheppard grinned. “You on board with that?”

Ronon's grin was practically feral. “I'm always up for a fight. Armed or unarmed?”

“Unarmed.” Sheppard said. “Elizabeth said that we couldn't break him.”

Xander rolled his eye. Sheppard was acting as though Ronon winning was a guarantee. Which Xander could kind of understand if Ronon was the base's best fighter. The man was definitely a warrior, and an experienced one at that. He reminded Xander of the warriors he had come across in Africa over the years, the ones whose entire life was dedicated to fighting.

“John!” Teyla sounded disapproving. 

Xander stretched his arms behind his back. “What are the rules?”

“Rules?” Ronon repeated sounding amused.

“Yeah.” Xander nodded. “Can we allowed to break bones? Dislocate joints? Knock each other out?”

“No.” Sheppard said firmly. “This is a friendly spar! But you can leave as many bruises as you like.” He grinned at Ronon.

Xander rolled his eye again and began to bounce lightly, he couldn't wait to show them what he was capable of. Well, not all that he was capable of. He doubted that showing the Colonel just how supernatural his abilities were would ender him to the man, but at the same time he needed to prove that he was as asset. He would fight just hard enough to beat Ronon, but no more than that. If he needed to, he could show them how strong he really was at a later time – when they trusted him more.

“So where exactly is this happening?” Xander asked looking around.

“Here'll do.” Ronon shrugged.

Xander looked around again, this time focusing specifically on the soldiers who were training near them.

“What about them?”

“They'll move.” Ronon smirked.

“Have fun, buddy.” John said, slapping Ronon on the arm before backing up about ten feet.

Xander took a step back so that there was about three feet between him and his opponent and sized the man up again. He'd start at about the ability and strength of a well trained human man and then adjust as he needed to.

Decision made, Xander dove forward and delivered his first punch to Ronon's gut. He spun away immediately and then retreated back to about three feet away. The punch didn't seem to faze the alien. Ronon grinned at him before practically flying forward, his movements slightly faster than any human Xander had ever come across, and aiming a punch at Xander's nose.

Xander growled and blocked it, but was unable to dodge the jab Ronon made at his side with his left hand.

Xander retreated again and re-evaluated how hard he would have to fight to beat the man. Ronon was definitely stronger and faster than a human, in fact he seemed to be about as strong as your average vampire.

Ronon was grinning at him from across the mat and Xander couldn't help but grin back. This would be more fun than he'd originally thought. Xander took a few steps forward and then leaped the rest of the way, using his momentum in a spinning kick to the other man's chest. Ronon was knocked back a step, which was far less than an average vampire would have been, and then countered with a a sequence of punches most of which Xander blocked.

The punches that Ronon landed though were definitely stronger than the alien's last one had been and for a moment Xander was reminded of one of the movies Buffy and Willow had forced him to watch when they were all about sixteen.

If he remembered it correctly the movie had a sword fight in which the hero started out fighting with his wrong hand to give himself a challenge and it turned out that the villain had been doing the same.

Re-evaluating the other man's ability again, the next time Ronon punched Xander moved to the side and grabbed the man's wrist and tugged him forward. As the other man stumbled minutely, Xander aimed a kick at Ronon's side and simultaneously twisted his arm back. 

Barely reacting to the kick Ronon twisted towards Xander and jabbed him in the side. Xander couldn't help but gasp at as the jab knocked the air out of him. Who was this alien? He was stronger than Spike. 

Xander released the alien's arm and bounced a few feet back before darting forward and, using more speed and strength than before, aimed a punch at Ronon's jaw. Ronon blocked it with a grin and retaliated with a punch of his own. Xander dodged the punch and kicked Ronon in the side spinning quickly to aim a jab at Ronon's kidneys, but it was blocked.

Xander grinned and blocked Ronon's next punches before retaliating, readjusting his strength yet again.

As the fight continued it seemed that almost every time Ronon attacked he was stronger and faster than the time before and Xander matched him. Ronon would throw Xander seven feet across the mat, and then Xander would throw Ronon eight.

After a while Xander was fighting as hard as he'd ever fought in his life and Ronon was matching him. They were both constantly moving, punch, kick, flip, punch, punch, jab, spin, kick, kick, punch, flip. It was the most fun Xander had had in years and whenever he managed to get a look at Ronon's face he saw that the other man was enjoying himself as well.

Once Xander hit the peak of his fighting ability their fight seemed to level out. Either this was as hard as Ronon had reached his limit as well or the alien didn't want to end the fight to soon.

Flipping out of the way of one of Ronon's kicks Xander decided that his number one priority in life had just become getting Ronon into his bed, or getting an invitation in Ronon's bed, Xander wasn't fussy. God, the man would be amazing in the sack. In fact if the alien fucked as well as he fought Xander might just let him top.

As Xander flipped, Ronon followed him back and Xander was barely able to dodge out the way of a punch to his eye. Xander was about to retaliate with a head shot of his own when he was jolted out of his happy fighting place by cold water. Lots of cold to the point of freezing water! He immediately spun away from Ronon towards the direction of the water, aware that the alien was doing the same, and scanned the room for the threat.

The only things he found were at least sixty marines staring at him and Colonel Sheppard aiming a hose at them with a glare. 

Xander sighed and reached up to wipe the dripping water off his brow. He grimaced when the hand came away with some blood on it, looking over at Ronon he saw that the other man hadn't come away unscathed either. The alien seemed to have a broken nose.

“What the fuck, Sheppard!” Ronon growled from Xander's side.

“You're asking me that?” Sheppard strode forward with a scowl. “What about that? What the hell was that?”

Xander winced as he took in the marines astonished expressions. He'd gotten so caught up in the fight that he'd forgotten his plan not to come across too powerful. He looked across at Ronon who was soaking wet and scowling at Sheppard and wondered whether the soldiers had known that the alien could fight like that. Judging by the fact that half the astonished looks seemed to be aimed at Ronon, he thought they probably hadn't.

Looking around the room again Xander saw McKay, Teyla and Weir all making their way towards them and winced again at their expressions. McKay looked as though he wanted to put the two of them under a microscope and study them, Teyla looked pretty serene but also a little worshipful, and Weir...well, Weir looked even more astonished than the soldiers did.

“I don't even know where to start.” Sheppard snapped. “Have you always been able to fight like that? We could barely see what either of you were doing because you moved so fast. I've never seen any human move even half that quickly. Why the hell didn't you tell me?” 

Sheppard spun to glare at Xander without waiting for a response. “And you! I'm stronger than a normal human, you said.” He quoted mockingly. “That was not stronger than a normal human! That was stronger than Captain fucking America! What the fuck are you?”

“Oh my god!” McKay exclaimed the minute he was within a few feet of them. “That was, wow! Do you know what makes you that strong? Can I have some of your blood?”

Xander snorted. “No, you damn well cannot.”

“Mr. Harris, Xander.” Dr. Weir started. “Ronon. That was incredible. I had no idea that either of you were capable of anything like that.”

“No.” Sheppard said with a glare directed at Ronon. “Neither did I.”

“Perhaps it would be best to have this conversation in a more private location.” Teyla suggested gently.

Sheppard turned around and grimaced. “Yeah, probably a good idea. Oi!” He shouted, quickly cutting of all of the soldiers chatter. “For those of you who aren't already aware, this is Alexander Harris. He has transferred into our city. I'm sure most of you have already heard the story of his arrival, those of you who haven't – ask a friend.

“Harris is a civilian contractor who works for the the Army of the United States of America. He is to be treated with respect. Though I'm sure after what you just saw, none of you would be stupid enough to piss him off anyway.” Sheppard paused for a moment. “Show's over, marines. Go back to what ever you were doing.”

Sheppard turned around and shot a glare at the two wet men. “Ronon, Harris, with me. We're going to have a little chat.”

“May I come also?” Teyla asked. “I am very interested to hear the story of the origin of their strength.”

“Of course.” Sheppard nodded. “Elizabeth? Rodney? You are both welcome as well.”

Xander sighed when both the Doctors agreed enthusiastically to attend the conversation and shared an irritated look with Ronon.

 

6-6-6

 

“So...” Sheppard started, once they were all sitting around a large table. “What the hell was that?”

“A spar.” Xander answered with a smirk. “That's what you told us to do, right?”

Sheppard pointed a finger at him with a glare. “You, shut up. I'll get to you later. Firstly I want to know just how long Ronon has been hiding his superpower and why!”

“Super power?” Ronon repeated sounding confused. 

“Yes, superpower!” John reiterated. “The fact that you can fight like nothing I've ever seen before.”

“I've always been stronger than most people.” Ronon shrugged. “There were a few others like me on Sateda, but not many.”

Sheppard sighed and leant back in his chair. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“You have no men with abilities even close to mine, I figured it would be better if I fit in.” Ronon explained.

“And what about all those times when we could have used your strength?” Sheppard asked. “All those times we were captured and thought we were going to die. You could have saved us.”

“We survived, didn't we?” Ronon said.

“Not the fucking point.” John retorted. “Do you know what makes you so strong?”

Ronon shook his head. “No. The scientists on Sateda had theories, but no one knew for sure.”

“Alright.” John sighed again, this time louder, before turning to Xander. “What about you?”

“I never lied to you.” Xander defended. “I told you I was stronger than a normal human.”

“Yeah, yeah.” John waved a hand dismissively. “I want to know why you're that strong.”

Xander winced. “As I said earlier, it would be better for you to read my file first. It explains it much better than I ever could.”

John shook his head. “I want to hear it from you.”

“Well, to recap our earlier conversation for Teyla and Ronon, on the planet that we come from there are species of beings called demons. Vampires and werewolves and stuff, which probably doesn't meant anything to you.” Xander said with a sigh. “There are also things that can possess you, not like a Goa'uld,” He explained quickly seeing McKay's mouth open. “I honestly don't know how to explain it except to say that they are spirits that take over your conciousness. I have been possessed twice, both times about ten years ago, once by a hyena and once by a soldier.”

“A hyena?” Teyla asked, her head tilted to the side.

“Uh,” Xander looked around the room for someone to help him. He had no idea what kinds of animals they had in this galaxy that could be used as an example.

“An animal.” Dr. Weir explained smoothly. “Not unlike the Toikla.”

“Oh.” Teyla nodded in understanding.

“You were possessed by a soldier?” Sheppard asked incredulously.

“An explosives expert to be exact.” Xander said. “So, anyway, I was possessed by two different spirits ten years ago. Unfortunately, even though some friends of mine managed to put me back in charge of my head, the spirits were still there. So I had three different conciousness' trying to control my body which made me particularly slow and clumsy.

“Then two years ago I met a Shaman who explained my problem to me and offered to fix it. His solution was to merge the two spirits with my own.”

“So instead of having three conciousness' in your head, you have one that contains the characteristics of all of them?” Dr. Weir asked.

“Exactly.” Xander nodded, glad there was at least one person who had started reading his file. “So I pretty much have an encyclopaedia of Army and Hyena knowledge in my head.”

“That doesn't explain why you're so strong.” Sheppard said impatiently.

“Well, in addition to the merging the conciousness', their abilities were merged as well. So I have the strength of the solider, plus the strength of a hyena, plus the strength of, well, me.” Xander explained.

“Was it like that for everything?” Weir asked.

“Most things.” Xander shrugged. “My healing ability, yes. I heal really quickly.” He looked down at his bare chest and saw that the bruises already looked a day old.

Sheppard leaned forward. “So was that you guys fighting as hard as you could? Or were you still holding back.”

“I wasn't holding back.” Xander shrugged. “That's pretty much my limit.”

Ronon nodded and grunted.

“That was pretty amazing.” Sheppard said with a grin, apparently past his shock and anger. “But don't think this will get out out of seeing Carson or Heightmeyer.”

Xander presumed they were the names of the doctor and the shrink and grimaced. “Then what?”

“Huh?” Sheppard asked.

“What will I be doing once you've proven that I'm trustworthy and given me back my knives?”

Sheppard looked across and Weir and shrugged. “I'm not sure. I imagine your job will be a lot like Ronon's.”

“Which is?”

“You'll be on a gate team, one of our teams who go through the stargate and explore new planets.” Sheppard explained. “And you'll help Ronon train the soldiers. You said your job used to be training kids to fight, right?”

Xander shrugged, the description was close enough. “Yeah, kinda. That and fighting demons.”

“So it won't be a whole lot different.” Sheppard said. “Only instead of training girls, you'll be training soldiers. And instead of fighting demons, you'll be fighting aliens.”

Xander grinned. “I can do that.”

“I'm sure you can, Xander.” Weir said standing up with a smile. “I've informed Doctor Beckett to expect you this afternoon, and Doctor Heightmeyer will be expecting you in the morning.”

Xander stood up as well. “Will you be giving them my file?”

“Would you rather I didn't?” 

Xander shrugged. “The whole thing is classified. So it would be best if you didn't.”

“Carson won't like that.” Weir warned.

“How about I give you permission to share my file with him if I'm ever critically injured.” Xander suggested. “I can give him the relevant information without the file.”

“Alright.” Weir nodded. “That's what we'll do. So long as you promise me that you'll be honest.”

“I'll give him all the relevant information.” Xander promised with a grin.

Weir rolled her eyes. “Not quite what I had in mind, but it'll do.” She turned towards the door, but then turned back. “I expect to have Beckett's report within three hours, Mr. Harris. Ronon, perhaps you could show Mr. Harris where the Infirmary is?”

“Sure.” Ronon answered.

“Thank you.” Weir smiled before leaving the room.

Sheppard stood up just as Xander sat back down. “I'll be in my office reading his file.” He told Ronon. “Don't let him out of your sight.”

“Should I arrange quarters to be assigned to Xander?” Teyla asked gently as she stood as well.

“Yeah, sure.” Sheppard shrugged absently before heading for the door. 

“Wait for me!” McKay called after the Colonel, hurriedly standing and rushing out of the room.

“You want some food?” Ronon asked looking across at Xander.

“Yeah.” Xander grinned. “That sounds great. Will the Mess still be open?”

“It's always open.” Ronon replied, standing up and walking out of the room.

Xander quickly followed him. “Handy. But can we go back and get my clothes first? I don't want to spend the rest of the day walking around shirtless.”

Ronon looked across at him and then, with an affirmative grunt, turned around and lead Xander back the way they'd come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have posted another story in this series called Understanding Rocks, it's from Faith's perspective. If you haven't read it yet, you should go check it out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

Weir was right, Doctor Beckett was completely unimpressed to hear that he wouldn't be granted access to Xander's file. In retaliation he locked Xander in the Infirmary for hours, seemingly running every test he had available of – especially the ones involving needles.

The Doctor always asked permission before each test, but it was still a little off putting for Xander who, despite having spent a lot of time in the Sunnydale Emergency room as a child, had only been treated by tribal healers or Army medics for years. He also hated people examining his empty eye-socket. But he suffered through it; aware that the more evidence Beckett could give Sheppard that Xander was healthy and human, the more likely Sheppard was to give him back his knives.

Much to Xander's amusement, Ronon followed Sheppard's orders to the letter – not even leaving during the rectal examination part of the program. It was a little awkward, for Xander at least. That was certainly not the way he had fantasised about Ronon seeing his ass.

Once the Doctor Beckett finally released him with an 'unnaturally clean bill of of health' it was apparently time for dinner. Ronon lead Xander back to the Mess Hall, and they joined Sheppard, McKay and Teyla at one of the tables. 

“Good evening, Xander.” Teyla greeted him with a smile. “How was your visit with Doctor Beckett?”

“Long.” Ronon grunted from his seat beside Xander.

Xander grinned at him before nodding in agreement. “Yeah. Long, uncomfortable, awkward, but thankfully over.”

“Yeah I know what you mean.” McKay agreed passionately. “Did he threaten you with his big needles?”

“No.” Xander winced. “He didn't even bother threatening, he just went right ahead and used them. He even did a rectal exam.”

Sheppard looked down at his plate with an uncomfortable grimace before taking a drink of water.

“What is a rectal exam?” Teyla asked curiously and Xander couldn't help but laugh when Sheppard spat out the water.

“Ew!” McKay almost fell of his seat in his rush to avoid the liquid. “That's gross!”

“Sorry.” Sheppard said, looking mournfully down at the now sodden food on his plate. 

Xander laughed again when he realised that Teyla was looking around the table in confusion, obviously still expecting one of her friends to answer the question. He shrugged to himself, it wasn't as though his years in African tribes had left him with much of a sense of modesty or propriety.

“A rectal examination is when the doctor examines their patient's anal passage, Teyla.” He explained, ignoring the horrified expressions on both Sheppard and McKay's faces.

“Oh.” Teyla blushed slightly. “I don't believe that Carson has ever performed such a procedure on me, nor has he threatened to.”

“No,” Xander smiled at her. “I imagine not.”

“Anyway!” McKay exclaimed loudly. “Have you decided what A.R.T. team to put Harris on, Sheppard?”

Sheppard stood up with a shrug and grabbed his water filled plate. “Not yet. I'll be back, I need more food.”

“A.R.T. Team?” Xander asked McKay.

“Atlantis Reconnaissance Team.” McKay replied. “The four of us, me, Ronon, Teyla and Sheppard make up the First Atlantis Reconnaissance Team. There are five others besides us.”

Xander laughed. “So you're the F.A.R.T. team? Wow, who came up with that?”

McKay scowled at him. “What are you? Twelve?”

“Sorry.” Xander forced himself to stop laughing and go back to lunch.

After a few minutes of silence Teyla spoke. “Xander, I have arranged for you to be given the room beside Ronon's.”

Xander bowed his head in appreciation. “Thank you. That was very kind of you.”

“You're welcome.” Teyla smiled at him. “Unfortunately, the attached bathroom can only be used by a gene carrier, so you'll have to use the public showers.”

“He's got the active gene.” McKay mumbled with his mouthful. 

Xander looked at the scientist in confusion. “Gene therapy?”

“Oh!” McKay sat up straighter and grinned. “You don't know yet? I love getting explain this to people. This city was built by the Ancients.”

“The Anquietas?” Xander interrupted him.

“Yeah, probably.” McKay waved a hand dismissively. “Anyway, when the Ancients built the city they made it so only people who a specific gene could control it. We call in the ATA gene. Of course that was ten million years ago, so there are barely any humans who have the gene now. But Carson created a retrovirus that allows people who have dormant gene to still be able to control the technology. It's fantastic, well except for the fact that you actually have to have the dormant gene for it to work.”

“Right.” Xander nodded. “Okay. But I already have the gene?”

“That's what I said!” McKay huffed, obviously irritated. “I found out when I scanned you earlier.”

“So do you all have the gene?” Xander asked his three companions. 

“I do.” McKay replied. “Well, I didn't, but the gene therapy worked for me, so it's like I do.”

“I do not have the gene.” Teyla answered. 

“I have it.” Ronon grunted from beside Xander. 

“John has it too.” McKay said.

“What do I have?” Sheppard asked, plonking a new plate down on the table.

“The ATA gene.” McKay explained to his friend before looking back to Xander. “John's gene is very strong. He and General O'Neill are the two strongest gene carriers we've found.”

“So there's different levels of the gene?” Xander asked. “What level do I have?”

“Your gene is of average strength.” McKay replied.

“Good to know.” Xander said with a shrug, he turned to Sheppard. “So if the shrink tells you that I'm sane and trustworthy can I have my knives back?”

“Probably.” John replied. “What's your hurry anyway? It's not as though you're in any danger here.”

“Well, not that I know of, no.” Xander said. “But you never know. Besides, they have sentimental value to me.”

“Really?” McKay looked curious. “How come?”

Teyla elbowed him. “You shouldn't ask such personal questions, Rodney.”

“No it's fine.” Xander cracked the joints in his hands. “They were all given to me by important people. The biggest one was given to me by my ex-fiancée about six years ago. The more primitive one was given to me by a friend, the first man I had sex with actually. And the silver one was given to me by the Military Unit I worked for back on earth, they gave it to me after our tenth battle together. They're all very special to me.”

“Ex-fiancee?” Sheppard asked curiously. “That's not in your file.”

“Really?” Xander was surprised, he would have though that it was at least mentioned. “Yeah, well she died four years ago.”

“Oh. I'm sorry for your loss.” Teyla said.

“Thank you.” Xander smiled at her. 

“Yeah, me too.” Ronon grunted before standing up. “You finished?”

Xander looked down at his empty plate and stood up. “Yeah.”

“I'll show you your room.” Ronon said, picking up his plate and striding across the room.

Xander watching him for a moment, admiring the aliens ass, before turning around and picking up his plate. “I'll see you guys later.”

“Yeah.” Sheppard replied. “I want to see you in my office straight after your meeting with Kate. Ronon can show you where it is.”

“Yeah, okay.” Xander nodded.

“Good night, Xander.” Teyla smiled at him.

“Good night.” Xander shot her smile before turning around and jogging across the room to where Ronon was standing waiting for him.

He put his plate on top of the pile of dirty plates and followed Ronon out of the room and along a corridor.

“You slept with a man?” Ronon asked a few minutes of silence.

Xander turned to look at him in surprise. “Yeah. Do they not do that wherever you're from?”

“They do.” Ronon said, turning down another corridor. “But your people here don't. I thought maybe it was taboo here.”

Xander grimaced, it was hardly surprising that there were no explicitly gay men on a military base. “It's not taboo, but there is some prejudice against men who choose to do so. Those who serve in the American Military are not allowed to have sex with people of their own gender.”

Ronon was silent for a few more minutes before he stopped suddenly and gestured to the door they were in front of. 

“This is your room.”

Xander looked around for a door handle. “How do I open the door?”

Ronon waved a hand at the door frame and the doors slid open. 

“Can anyone do that?” Xander asked. “Can I lock it?”

“Yeah.” Ronon answered. “I'll show you tomorrow.”

Xander took a step into the room and grinned at what he saw. It was nice, and alien enough to be interesting. He turned around to face Ronon.

“Thanks for showing me around today, and for sparring with me. I've never fought anyone as good as me before. Well at least not anyone who wasn't trying to kill me.”

Ronon didn't say anything.

“Uh, well, good night then.” Xander said feeling slightly awkward. “Will you be showing me to Doctor Heightmeyer's office tomorrow.”

“I run everyday at five thirty.” Ronon said. “I'll come get you first.”

Xander grinned. “Thanks. That sounds great.”

Ronon nodded before reaching out to grab Xander's arms and tug him forward. It took all the concentration Xander had prevent himself from attacking the man out of reflex and before he knew it he was being kissed. The kiss was powerful and dominating and for a moment Xander just stood there and enjoyed it. Then he reached up with both hands to grab the alien's dreadlocks and began to respond to the kiss, pulling Ronon's head down further and kissing him back with everything he had. Their tongues battled one another and their teeth occasionally were jolted together as they each fought for more control. When they finally broke for air Ronon stepped back.

“Night.” 

Xander stared at the alien in shock as Ronon turned around and began to walk away. What the hell?

7-7-7

 

When Xander woke the next morning he realised that he had no idea how to tell the time. He wouldn't even be able to tell by looking outside because he knew nothing about the sun and moon cycles on this alien planet.

He knew how long he had slept. Habit had taught him that without disturbances he slept seven and a half hours every night. No more, no less. But since he had no idea what time he had gone to sleep the night before, or how many hours were in an alien day, that didn't tell him much.

Xander rolled out of bed, stretching his back while he was at it, and wandered over to the room's window. The view was extraordinary. He could see seemingly endless ocean and the sun beginning to rise on the horizon. Turning away from the window Xander made his way to the en-suite attached to his room.

Once he had showered and relieved his bladder, Xander made his way back to the bedroom to find his clothes. It would be the third day he had worn his boxers and jeans and even though he was used to wearing clothes for weeks in a row in the desert he couldn't help but wonder how long it would take Sheppard to find him some more suitable clothes. Maybe he could borrow a pair of trousers from Ronon for their run? Running in jeans was never a comfortable prospect.

He'd just pulled on his boxers and put his eye-patch back on when a bell sounded somewhere in the room and, after a few seconds of confusion, Xander realised it was probably the doorbell. Ignoring his near nudity, Xander waved the door open and greeted Ronon with a sheepish smile.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” Ronon nodded. The alien looked exactly the same as he had the day before – incredibly fuckable.

“This is probably going come across a little weird, but can I borrow a pair of your pants?” Xander gestured towards his jeans that were on the floor. “I only have my jeans, but they're stiff and uncomfortable and not suited for running.”

Ronon raised an eyebrow. “Okay.” He turned around and walked the same way he had the night before.

“Thanks.” Xander called after him and then retreated back into his room to put on his T-shirt.

When Ronon returned, a pair of pants in hand, Xander pulled them on immediately and then spent a few minutes carefully rolling up the bottoms because Ronon was about half a foot taller than him. At least the waist fit him well.

The moment he stood up, the pants now fixed at the right length, Ronon grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into another kiss. Xander had half been expecting the alien to do something along those lines and so, unlike the night before, didn't need any time to adjust before responding. Without letting go of Ronon's mouth he grabbed the alien's shoulders and pushed him back against a wall.

Ronon only allowed them to stay in that position for a few seconds before spinning them around so that Xander was the one trapped against the wall. Xander growled in frustration when he realised that Ronon's extra height made it easy for the other man to control the kiss. He tried to use Ronon's hair to pull his head down like he had the night before but Ronon wouldn't let him. Instead the alien lifted Xander in the air and held him there, pushed up against the wall. Xander grinned against the alien's mouth and then dove into the kiss, resisting the temptation to wrap his legs around Ronon's waist.

They kissed for a few minutes, only breaking occasionally for much needed oxygen, before Ronon pulled away and dropped Xander to the floor.

“So,” Xander cleared his throat gently. “A run?”

“Yeah.” Ronon nodded and gestured to the open door into Xander's room. “You should shut that.”

“Yeah.” Xander moved closer to the door so he could close it and then looked back at Ronon. “Should I lock it? Or will it be fine?”

“Better lock it.” Ronon grunted before moving closer and explaining how exactly one went about locking alien technology.

Once his room was locked up, Ronon set off running immediately and Xander joined him, easily keeping pace with the other man. 

“How long do you normally run for?” Xander asked after they had been running for a few minutes.

“Depends.” Ronon replied. “What about you?”

“Depends.” Xander grinned. “Normally about an hour, two if I've got the time.”

Ronon grunted and turned off the main hallway into a smaller one. “We've got time.”

Xander sighed happily. It had been a few weeks since he'd last been on a long run and he'd missed it.

7-7-7

It was just over two hours later that Xander and Ronon joined Sheppard, McKay and Teyla at a table in the Mess.

“Are you wearing Ronon's pants?” McKay asked before they had even sat down.

Xander rolled his eyes and suspiciously poked the mush on his plate with his spoon. “I hate running in jeans.”

“They look a bit long on you.” Sheppard grinned at him. 

“Did you enjoy your run?” Teyla asked. 

“Yeah.” Ronon grunted, leaning over his plate to scoop a large spoonful of mush into his mouth.

“I heard you were running for ages.” McKay said. “Where'd you go?”

“West Pier.” Ronon said. “And then the East Pier,and then back here.”

“What?” McKay was glancing between them with his mouth open. “But that's almost thirty miles!”

“It was nice.” Xander shrugged.

“How...when did you start?” McKay demanded.

“Uh,” Xander turned to Ronon for help.

“Quarter to six.” Ronon replied.

“Wow.” Sheppard's eyebrows were raised. “That's pretty fast.”

“Pretty fast?” McKay asked his friend incredulously. “The World Record for a Marathon is just over two hours.”

Sheppard looked confused. “Yeah and?”

“And Marathons are twenty five miles in length.” McKay almost shouted. “They ran almost thirty miles in under two hours.”

“Well, yeah.” Sheppard grinned. “They've got superpowers, Rodney!”

Xander choked on his drink.

“They're pretty much superheroes.” Sheppard continued. “Of course they ran faster than normal!”

“Superheroes?” Teyla asked sounding confused.

Xander turned to her with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Xander.” Teyla smiled across at him. “How did you sleep?”

Xander grinned. “Very well, thank you. The room you gave me is wonderful. Thank you again for arranging it for me.”

“I am pleased.” Teyla inclined her head gently. “What are superheroes?”

 

7-7-7

As it turned out, Doctor Heightmeyer found being denied access to Xander's file just as frustrating as Doctor Beckett had and, like Beckett, she retaliated by making him jump through every hoop she could. By the time she dismissed Xander, two and a half hours later, he realised that he actually preferred Doctor Beckett's revenge. He'd rather have his ass examined than have to talk about his parents, Jessie, and Anya.

Xander ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he strode out of the psychologist's office. Talking about his abusive parents always brought down his mood, but they, Anya and Jessie were the only unclassified things he had to talk about.

Ronon was leaning against the wall opposite the office and, forcing himself to think on happier things, Xander spent a moment admiring the man. The alien pushed almost every button Xander had, even a few he hadn't been aware of. He was the tall, strong, and silent type, and Xander had always had a thing for men who had those characteristics – Angel included during his misguided teenage years.

“Sheppard wants to see you.” Ronon pushed off the wall with a smirk and Xander got the feeling that the other man knew what he had been thinking.

“Yeah, I remember.” Xander nodded as he fell into step beside Ronon.

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Xander remembered a question he'd been wanting to ask.

“How many hours are there in a day here?”

“Twenty eight.”

“Wow.” Xander grinned slightly. There was enough of his geeky teen aged self left in him that he found evidence of him being on an alien planet thrilling. 

They walked the rest of the way in silence and then stopped in front of a door with Colonel Sheppard name on the door.

“Do we knock?” Xander asked.

“Nah.” Ronon grinned before waving his hand over the frame of the door causing it to open. 

Sheppard was sitting behind a desk and waved Xander into the room and into one of the seats in front of the desk.

“I just got an email from Doctor Heightmeyer.” Sheppard said picking one of the I-Pad things McKay had been using the day before off the desk. “She'll give me a more in-depth report on you later, but I asked her to let me know the basics immediately.”

“And?” Xander asked as Ronon slouched into the seat beside him.

“She's pissed that you won't give her your records.” Sheppard said.

Xander sighed tiredly and ran a hand through her hair. “Yeah, she made that perfectly clear but there's nothing I can do. It's classified.”

“Yeah I get that.” Sheppard nodded. “She did appreciate your honesty aside from that though.”

“Anything to get my knives back.” Xander grinned at Sheppard. “Speaking of which, I get them back now, right?”

Sheppard rolled his eyes but opened one of his desk drawers. “Yeah, okay.” He pulled out the knives one at a time and handed them to Xander who secured them on his ankle, shoulder, and lower back.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” Sheppard replied. “I've been trying to decide what to do with you. You'll definitely be teaching my marines with Ronon. I'll leave it up to the two of you how you want to do that, but once you've figured out a plan you'll need to bring it to me so I can sign off on it.”

Xander looked across at Ronon and nodded. “As long as Ronon doesn't mind.”

“Sounds good to me.” Ronon shrugged. 

“Great.” Sheppard looked relieved. “Now, has anyone explained to you about our A.R.T. Teams?”

“Yeah, Doctor McKay did last night. Though he didn't actually tell me what they did.” Xander leaned back in his chair. 

“One of the main purposes of this expedition is to explore the Pegasus Galaxy and we use the A.R.T. Teams to do that. Most of their missions involve going to a previously unexplored planet, making nice with the natives, if there are any, and then reporting back.”

“Sounds fun.” Xander grinned.

“Oh it is.” Sheppard returned his grin. “We have seven teams. Each one consists of four to five people and at least one of those is always a scientist.” Sheppard stared at Xander for a moment. “You'll be leading A.R.T. Three.”

“Really?” Xander sat forward in surprise. “I wasn't aware you trusted me that much.”

Sheppard sighed. “I'm not entirely sure that I do trust you that much, Harris. But at this point you're my only option. The previous leader of the team, Lieutenant Atkins, was killed a month ago and I have no one else I can put in charge.”

Ronon cleared his throat.

“Except for Ronon.” Sheppard amended. “But I don't want to split up my team. So that leaves you. You've obviously had experience leading soldiers into battle, and your file is filled with commendations claiming that you're a great leader.”

“Okay.” Xander nodded. “So who's on my team?”

“Corporal James Klive, Corporal Samantha Porse, PFC Brian Werner, and Doctor Francine Manders.” Sheppard said. “Doctor Manders is an engineer.”

Xander nodded, committing the names to memory. “And the others.”

“Klive has the ATA gene, he'll be your pilot when you need one. Porse has some sniper training, and Werner is bigger than Ronon and one of the best hand to hand fighters on the base. You'll be the explosions expert.” Sheppard told him.

Xander frowned. “Are Klive's ATA gene and pilot status connected?”

“Yeah.” Sheppard grinned. “Our only forms of aircraft are called Puddle Jumpers, Jumpers for short. They can only be flown by ATA gene carriers.”

“Puddle Jumpers?” Xander raised an eyebrow. “Would it be possible for someone to teach me how to fly these Jumpers? I'd feel more comfortable if we had more than one person on the team who could.” 

“We call then that because they are made to go through the Stargate.” Sheppard answered. “And the Gate looks a bit like a puddle. And yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'll get someone to teach you in the next few weeks. They're controlled mostly by thought, so your eye probably won't effect it to much. ”

“I'll teach him.” Ronon grunted. 

Sheppard looked between the two of them suspiciously. “You will?”

“Yeap.”

Xander grinned at the Colonel's confused expression. “How have the team been handling Atkin's death?”

“Doctor Manders took it I hard. But then that's not unusual for a civilian.” Sheppard said. “Both Wesley and Porse were seriously injured during the attack where Atkins died so they've been spending the last few weeks recovering from their injuries. All four of them have been seeing Doctor Heightmeyer a few times a week.”

“Good.” Xander sighed. “When is the team scheduled for their next mission?”

“That's up to you.” Sheppard shrugged. “Obviously you'll want some time to train with them first, but it'd be great if you were operational within two weeks.”

“Two weeks sounds good.” Xander scratched the back of his head. “I'll let you know if anything changes.”

“Great.” Sheppard grinned at him. “Did you have any other questions?”

“How many officers do you have?” Xander asked curiously.

“Five.” Sheppard replied. “Major Evan Lorne is my second in command. Then there's Major Elliot Rutherford, Captain Michael Chambers, Lieutenant Bryce Nichols, and Lieutenant George Deer.”

“And, uh, how do you guys tell the time around here?” Xander asked with an amused laugh.

Sheppard undid something on his wrist and passed it over the desk to Xander. “The scientists made us these.”

Xander looked it over. It looked like a normal watch, except that it had fourteen markers on it instead of twelve. 

“Wow.” Xander passed back the watch. “That's pretty cool.”

Sheppard grinned. “Yeah. You should ask McKay for one. I'm sure there are a few lying around somewhere.”

Xander nodded. “Thanks, I will. What do you want me doing today?”

Sheppard shrugged and leant back in his chair, stretching his arms behind him. “Plan with Ronon and meet your team. You'll need to get an earpiece as well, like the one you used yesterday. I'll get McKay to find you one of those as well the watch.”

“Sounds fun.” Xander stood up. “Should I get them off him at lunch?”

Sheppard laughed. “McKay doesn't make it to lunch very often. He's a bit of a workaholic.”

“A bit?” Ronon put in standing up as well.

“You can get them off him at dinner.” Sheppard continued. 

“How do I contact my team?” Xander asked. “I'm also going to need access to their files?”

“How about I get them to meet you in the gym at sixteen hundred?” Sheppard asked. “I need to talk to them about the change anyway. As for their files, we don't have paper copies of anything. So I'll have to get you an access code so you can use one of the public computers.”

Xander winced, computers had never really been his thing. “Thank you, Colonel. I appreciate it.”

“You're welcome.” Sheppard shrugged uncomfortably. “Now get out of my office and do something. I have work to do.”

Once they were out of Sheppard's office, Xander looked over at Ronon. “Why was Sheppard so surprised that you would teach me how to fly the Jumper?”

“I don't fly much.” Ronon said striding down the hallway. “You wanna spar?”

Xander grinned. “Hell yes.”

7-7-7


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

At sixteen hundred hours Xander was leaning up a wall in the sparring room, listening as Ronon pointed out his new team. They were certainly an interesting mix. Werner was huge, definitely over two metres tall and built like a tank. The woman, Porse, had extremely short brown hair and looked sufficiently bad-ass. Klive was...pretty hot actually. And Doctor Manders looked like the worst kind of civilian – soft, sensitive, and helpless.

“I'll see you at dinner.” Ronon grunted, before striding out of the room.

Xander watched him leave before squaring his shoulders and weaving through the room towards where the team was standing.

PFC Werner was the first to spot him and came to attention immediately, causing Porse and Klive to turn around and then come to attention just seconds later.

“Sir!” 

“At ease.” Xander said with an answering salute. 

The three soldiers shifted in the formal 'at ease' position and then Doctor Manders waved awkwardly. 

“Hi.”

Xander couldn't help but grin slightly. “Hi. Look is there a better place we can talk? Somewhere quiet, preferably with chairs.”

“Yes, sir.” Corporal Klive, who – according to the files Xander had spent some of his afternoon reading – outranked Corporal Porse.

“Great.” Xander nodded at him. “Lead the way, Corporal.”

The room that Klive lead the group to was almost identical to the one that Xander had originally been interrogated in, the only difference was the extra chairs.

“Sit down, everyone.” Xander gestured towards the chairs before pulling one out from the table for himself. Once they were seated Xander leant forward. “Firstly, I'd like to express my condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you.” Doctor Manders replied weakly.

“Secondly,” Xander leant back. “I'm sure you already know my name, but I'm going to introduce myself anyway. I'm Alexander Harris and as well as being the Team leader, I'm the team's new explosives expert. I'm also a very experienced fighter, as I'm sure you've seen. My weapon of choice is a knife, or three, but I can use a P90. Almost everything about my past is classified, so there isn't much more that I can tell you.”

Xander paused for a while taking in his new team's expressions before leaning forward again. “Now I'd like you to introduce yourselves.”

“Yes, sir.” Kline was the first to speak. “I am Corporal James Klive and I am the only one in the team with the ATA gene, which means that I act as the Team's pilot. This is my second tour, I served in Iraq for my first tour.”

“I am Corporal Samantha Porse, sir. I have a degree in linguistics, and this is my second tour as well.”

“I am Private First Class Brian Wesley, sir. This is my first tour.”

“I'm Francine Manders. I'm a Doctor, well not a medical Doctor, but I do have my Doctorate. It's in Engineering.”

Xander watched them all carefully, trying to figure as much about them as he could. “Fantastic. Nice to meet you all. Colonel Sheppard has given us two weeks before we will start going through the gate as a team, during those weeks we will be training together everyday.”

Manders put up her hand. “Uh, sir?”

Xander could barely prevent himself from rolling his eyes. “This isn't a classroom, Manders. You don't need to put your hand up.”

Manders blushed. “Yes, sir. I can't train that much, sir. I have other duties in the city.”

“We won't be training all day.” Xander reassured her. “But I will expect you there for a few hours a day at least. I can get Colonel Sheppard to smooth it over with your boss if you like.”

“What will we be doing specifically, sir?” Porse asked.

“Lots of things.” Xander shrugged. “I want to get to know what each of you are capable of before I'm in a combat situation with you. We will also be helping Doctor Manders pass a fitness, hand to hand, and weapons test.”

“What do you mean?” Manders looked horrified. “I can't do that.”

“You're not going through the gate until you do.” Xander said flatly. “Right now, Doctor Manders, you're a liability, and it's my understanding that sixty three percent of missions gate teams go on end up combat situations.”

“I don't...” Manders trailed off, obviously holding back tears. “I don't want to be a liability.”

“I know, doc.” Xander smiled comfortingly. “And I know that you're a great asset to the team, when not in a combat situation. But if I take you through gate as untrained as you are, eventually you're going to get hurt or killed. I'm not going to be holding you to the same standard as the others, but you need to be able to at least run away at a reasonable speed.”

 

8-8-8

 

“How'd it go?” Ronon asked as Xander sat down beside him at dinner.

“I almost made the Doctor cry.” Xander sighed. 

“What?” McKay, who was sitting beside Sheppard across from Ronon, asked in obvious outrage. “You made one of my minions cry? I'm the only one who gets to make them cry!”

“I almost made her cry.” Xander defended himself. “And I was as nice as I could be. It's not my fault she can barely shoot. Why the hell was she ever let into a combat situation?”

“She wasn't.” Sheppard argued. “A.R.T. Stands for Atlantis Reconnaissance Team. Nothing to do with combat in her job description.”

Xander snorted. “Ronon said that sixty three percent of your A.R.T. missions see at least some combat.”

Sheppard shot Ronon a glare. “Oh, did he now? I'm not so sure I like the idea of the two of you being all buddy buddy.”

Xander laughed. “You're the one who stuck us together to start with.”

“Yeah, well, that was before I knew that he'd start blabbing secrets.”

Ronon grunted out a laugh. “You gave him back his knives.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Sheppard asked with a confused frown.

“Means you trust him.”

“And you gave me a team.” Xander pointed out. “Speaking of which, what the hell is it with the untrained scientist? Shouldn't you have at least made sure she was capable of running away probably before sending her through the gate?”

“Anyone can run away.” McKay huffed.

“Doctor Manders can't.” Xander countered. “She'd have to stop for a breather after two minutes. I don't understand why you made them take the tests, but still let them go through the gate when they failed them miserably.”

Sheppard shrugged uncomfortably. “We've had bigger things to worry about.”

Xander sighed. “Yeah I get that. Lots of things get put on the back burner when the Apocalypse comes a calling. But just so you know, she doesn't go through the gate with my team until she can pass all three of those tests.”

“Fair enough.” Sheppard nodded.

“Which means that she'll be missing some work for the next few weeks.” Xander said turning to McKay. “She needs to be training with her team.”

For a moment it looked as though McKay was going to argue, but then he nodded. “Fine. But when she'd not training she better be working her little ass off.”

“What about the other scientists?” Xander asked. “Are there any others who are in an A.R.T.? Maybe I could start up a training session specifically for the scientists. It can be very intimidating and discouraging if the only people you can learn with are the ones miles better than you.”

“Rodney?” Sheppard asked in question. “You know them better than I do.”

“I know their brains!” McKay answered scathingly. “Not how fast they can run.”

“I'll have a look tomorrow.” Sheppard said. 

“We should have a regular mandatory training for scientists.” Ronon said gruffly. “They should all be able to defend themselves.”

“Isn't that what you lot are here for?” McKay asked snarkily. “To protect those of us who actually have to think for a living?”

“Ronon has a point.” Sheppard said slowly. “What if another Wraith manages to get into the city and a civilian finds it first?”

“John!” McKay looked betrayed. “We're scientists!”

“I'm just trying to keep you alive, Rodney.” Sheppard defended. “Think about it. It's not a bad idea.”

“It's an awful idea!” McKay snapped before deflating. “But I do see your point.”

Xander cleared his throat gently. “Colonel, were you able to get me a watch and earpiece?”

“Oh.” McKay sat up straighter and started feeling around in his pockets. “I got them. Do you know how to use the earpiece?”

“Yes, thanks.” Xander accepted the two items that Rodney passed him. “We used a similar model in Africa.”

They continued talking for almost an hour, even after everyone had finished eating, before Ronon stood up.

“You coming?” He asked Xander gruffly before striding away with his dirty plate.

“Uh, yeah.” Xander stood up quickly and grabbed his plate. “I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow then.” 

He followed Ronon across the hall to put his plate on the tray of dirty dishes, and then out into one of the corridors.

“Are you always the first person to leave?” Xander asked curiously.

“Not always.”

Xander was silent for a few minutes before asking another question. “So what was your world like?”

Ronon was silent for a while. “I grew up in Atteria, the capital city, it was beautiful. Many of the buildings were very old, made of white stone, unlike any other city on any planet I have visited. My parent's home was one of the newer ones, made of metal and glass. They were proud of it, but I much preferred the older homes.”

“Have you visited many other planets?” Xander asked.

Ronon let out a bitter snort. “I was a runner for seven years. Visiting other planets was all I did, though I did try to avoid the inhabited ones.”

Xander frowned. “A runner?”

“The wraith stuck a tracking device in my back and hunted me for sport.” Ronon replied with disgust. “It's a game to them.”

Xander stopped and turned towards Ronon in horror. “Fuck! That's monstrous.”

“Yeah, well, they're monsters.” Ronon shrugged. “I killed many while they were chasing me and I will continue to kill them until I die.”

“Or until we wipe them out.” Xander pointed out.

“Yeah.” Ronon smirked. 

“Have they destroyed any other worlds?” Xander asked as they started walking again.

“A few.” Ronon sneered. “Only the ones who dared to challenge them. Mostly they just cull planets until there are less than a hundred alive. That way their food source resupplies itself.”

“Fuck!” Xander could hardly imagine it. “You'll teach me the best way to kill them, right? I want to decimate the fuckers.”

Ronon smirked again. “Sure.”

Xander knew they were only a few minutes away from the corridor where his and Ronon's room were, but he was way to hyped up to sleep. He wanted to kill something, preferably a whole bunch of wraith.

“You wanna spar?” Xander asked. “I'm too fucking angry to sleep right now.”

Ronon didn't reply, but when they reached the T- junction he turned left instead of right which was answer enough.

 

8-8-8

 

During the next few days Xander formed a kind of routine to his days. He woke up, showered, dressed, kissed Ronon, went for a run, ate breakfast with the Sheppard's team, sparred with Ronon, trained with his team, learnt to fly the Jumpers, sparred with Ronon some more, ate dinner with Sheppard's team, and then kissed Ronon some more.

In fact, before he knew it, a week had passed since he had arrived on Atlantis and he and Ronon were still in the kissing stage and it was starting to piss him off. Not because he didn't think the the alien was worth it – hell, if Ronon was half as good in the sack as he was at sparring Xander would willingly wait years to experience it – but because he hadn't had to work this hard to get laid since Sunnydale.

Other than his sad lack of sex life, everything was going great. The more he saw what the marines in his team were capable of, the more impressed he was. And Doctor Manders only burst into tears once a day instead of the near constant tears he'd had to put up with at the beginning. It wasn't that he had anything against the woman, but he would be damned if he was going to lead her into a situation where she was more likely to be shot than to not. 

As much as everything had been routine, today was going to be different for two reasons. Firstly, Ronon was going through the Stargate straight after breakfast with Sheppard, McKay and Teyla, and so wouldn't be around for their morning spar or Xander's flying lesson. And secondly, Xander would be leading his first training session with the marines which he was a bit nervous about. He had no doubt that there was a lot he could teach them, but most of his experience had involved individually training pre-teen to teen-aged girls, not large groups of marines.

After breakfast, Xander stood on the balcony in the gate room with Doctor Weir watching as a Jumper containing Sheppard's team flew through the Stargate.

“How are you settling in, Xander?” Doctor Weir asked once the Stargate has shut down.

“Great, thanks.” Xander shot her a friendly grin. “It's been pretty cool actually, though very different than what I'm used too.”

Doctor Weir laughed. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm a diplomat, so my career has mostly involved politicians. When I accepted this position I didn't really consider how different a military base would be.”

“The marines aren't really much of a change for me,” Xander admitted. “I've worked with the military for years. It's more things like having a bed to sleep on, flushing toilets, running water.”

“I'm sure.” Doctor Weir smiled at him. “You're training some of the marines today aren't you?”

“Yeah.” Xander rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “It's in about ten minutes, so I should probably go.”

“Good luck.” Weir said turning towards her office. “Try not to break any of them.”

Xander grinned. “Yes, ma'am. I'll try not to.”

The sparring room was pretty full when Xander got there. Ronon had explained to him that while each training session was compulsory for a different group of marines, often there would be men or women who were there voluntarily. It seemed as though most of the soldiers off duty had decided to volunteer for this training, which was pretty intimidating.

Xander moved forward to the middle of the room, figuring there was as good a place to start as any, before taking a moment to figure out what would be the most effective way of getting everyone's attention.

“Attention!”

As all the marines snapped to attention, Xander shot Major Lorne a thankful smile. 

“At ease.” Xander commanded loudly. “Good morning all. Today will be a little different from what you're used to. Partly because the fighting techniques I'll be teaching you are different from what Colonel Sheppard and Ronon have been teaching you. And partly because, believe it or not, most of my teaching experience has involved unnaturally strong teen-aged girls. Personally I hope that you lot are better behaved than they were.”

Xander scanned the expressions of the marines closest to him and was pleased to see that they were grinning in amusement.

“Righty-ho.” Xander bounced on his toes a little bit. “Lets start with a bit of stretching, shall we?”

 

8-8-8

 

By the time Ronon got back, Xander's training session was the talk of the city. Xander knew that because everywhere he went he overheard conversations about how badass he was, how much they had learnt, and how much it hurt to move.

Ronon was back in time for lunch, which meant that Xander would probably get his flying lesson after all. 

“So, how was it?” Xander asked Ronon as they sat down for lunch. 

“Horrible!” McKay exclaimed. “Absolutely horrible! There are these people living there so John won't let me harvest the gate. And there was this man! The most arrogant, annoying man I have ever met!”

Xander exchanged an amused glance with Ronon before turning a sympathetic expression towards McKay. 

“Oh, too bad. Hopefully you can get the next gate.”

“Yeah.” McKay let out an irritated sigh. “But Elizabeth won't let out go out again until tomorrow. It'll take us years to find all the gates we need at this rate.”

“Cheer up, buddy.” Sheppard clapped a hand on McKay's shoulder as he sat down. “We'll get them all. You just need a little patience.”

McKay huffed in frustration and then stood up, shoving his bread roll into his pocket. “Yeah, well, if we're not going through the gate again today, I have important things to do.”

Xander watched the scientist leave with amusement before turning back to Ronon. “So boring morning then, huh?”

“Yeah.” Ronon frowned. “I didn't even get to shoot anyone.”

Sheppard laughed before coughing. “Maybe tomorrow. By the way, I hear your training went very well, Harris.”

“Yeah,” Xander shrugged. “I was pretty happy with it. Though I'm pretty sure most of your marines used muscles they didn't even know they had.”

“They do now.” Ronon snorted. “If they're this sore now, imagine how bad they'll be tomorrow.”

Sheppard laughed before coughing again. “Oh, god, I shouldn't laugh. It would be awful if we were attacked tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Xander winced. “I didn't actually realise how much it would affect them to be honest. I'll be gentler next time.”

Sheppard sneezed loudly and then winced. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Are you alright, Colonel?” Xander frowned. “You sound all blocked up. Maybe you should go visit Doctor Beckett.”

“I'm fine.” Sheppard wave a hand dismissively. “Besides, Carson's off-world at the moment. The leader of the village we visited today claimed to have medicines that could cure any ailment. I think he's a snake oil salesman to be honest, but there's no harm in checking it out.”

“Snake oil salesman?” Ronon asked. 

“It means...” Sheppard broke off with another sneeze.

“Basically it means that he's selling something completely useless, but claiming that it does great things.” Xander told Ronon.

“Ah.” Ronon nodded in understanding. “We called them Talenhi stone peddlers.”

“Where's Teyla?” Xander asked. “And what's Talenhi stone?”

“Teyla's on the mainland.” Sheppard answered. “She's visiting her people. She'll be back in the morning.”

“Talenhi stone looks much like Hilnui, a very rare and expensive metal.” Ronon explained. “Peddlers used to sell objects made of Talenhi and claim that they were made of pure Hilnui.”

“Huh.” Sheppard stared at Ronon for a moment before shaking his head and standing up. “Well I'm gonna go do something now.” He grimaced. “Probably some paperwork actually.”

“Sucks to be you.” Xander smirked at him.

“Shut up, Harris.” Sheppard glared at him and then strode out of the mess hall.

“So,” Xander looked over at Ronon. “What do you wanna do?”

Ronon chewed silently for a minute before smirking as he swallowed. “I wanna fuck you.”

Xander stared at the other man. “What?”

“I wanna fuck you.” Ronon repeated, his smirk widening. 

“Hell, yes.” Xander shot to his feet and grabbed both his and Ronon's trays up.

“I was still eating.” Ronon grumbled. 

“And now you're done.” Xander retorted, striding away from the table to return their trays.

Ronon chuckled lowly and followed Xander out of the mess. “Eager.”

“Of course I'm fucking eager.” Xander retorted and he broke into an easy jog in the direction of their rooms. “It's been a week!”

“A week since you met me? Or a week since you last got laid?” Ronon asked as he jogged along side Xander.

“Both.”

“Huh.” Ronon shot him an amused look. “It's been three years since I last shared a man's bed.”

“Three years?” Xander asked. “Seriously? Wait, since you shared a man's bed? Or since you shared anyone's bed?”

Ronon frowned and looked away. “I have only ever shared one woman's bed. She died on Sateda. We were to be married.”

Xander winced. “Oh. Sorry. Your room or mine?”

“Do you have slick?” Ronon asked as they turned into their corridor.

“No.” Xander looked at him companion in worry. “Do you?”

Ronon smirked. “Yeah.”

“Your room it is.” Xander grinned.

\- - -


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

The next morning started differently than normal. Instead of waking up in his bed, Xander woke up in Ronon's. And instead of the morning kissing session, they fucked. After that everything was mostly the same, they went for a run, had breakfast with Sheppard and McKay, sparred together, and then Xander met up with his team for their daily training. It was after that that everything went to shit.

The first sign that something was up was the stranger sitting beside Ronon at the team's lunch table. Xander plopped down on Ronon's other side and shot Sheppard a questioning look.

Sheppard just shrugged.

“Hello, hello!” The stranger leant around Ronon with a beaming smile. “I haven't met you yet. Fair day to you.”

Xander looked around the table in confusion. “Uh, fair day right back at you.”

“And who might you be?” The stranger asked, still beaming.

Xander looked up at Ronon who was glaring at the man leaning across him. “I'm Xander. And you are?”

The strangers face fell slightly. “Oh you haven't heard of me yet?”

“Uh, no.” Xander looked at Ronon for an explanation but the other man was busy glaring at the stranger.

“I'm Lucius Lavin.” The stranger beamed.

“Okay.” Xander looked over at Sheppard who shrugged helplessly.

“Carson brought him through from that planet we visited yesterday.” McKay huffed. “You remember that man I told you about.”

“Oh you were talking about me?” Lucius beamed at McKay. “Of course you were talking about me. You were amazed, weren't you? Tell me, was it my smile? Or my medicines?”

Xander choked in an effort not to laugh. God, the look on McKay's face.

“So,” Sheppard said loudly. “Weir's given me and McKay the go ahead for a mission this afternoon. We're gate searching again.”

“Do you not need Ronon's nor my assistance?” Teyla asked.

“No.” Sheppard coughed again. “We're pretty sure the planet is uninhabited. And I think that it would be better if you were here, to...look after our guest.”

Lucius beamed. “Oh that's just lovely. How thoughtful of you to think of me.”

“Right.” John said slowly. “Anyway, I'll feel much better about leaving with you three here.”

“Very well.” Teyla nodded.

Ronon just glared at the beaming man next to him.

 

9-9-9

 

Xander didn't think he'd ever hated anyone more than he hated Sheppard. What had the man been thinking? If Xander had to spend one more fucking hour listening to Lucius fucking Lavin he would probably just decapitate the guy. The alien hadn't stopped talking since lunch, in fact the only break Xander had gotten was when the irritating little bastard had been in a meeting with Doctor Weir.

The worst thing was that Ronon and Teyla didn't seem to find him half as annoying as Xander did. In fact as the afternoon had gone on they had started actually acting interested in what the fucker was babbling about. It was weird, almost supernaturally weird. Everyone Lucius spoke to would start out annoyed and then by the end of the conversation they were awed by Lucius' apparent brilliance.

Currently Xander was leaning up against a door frame watching as almost the entire population of Atlantis sat in the mess hall oooing and ahhing over Lucius' ridiculous stories. 

“And then, you won't believe it! She spoke to me.” Lucius was saying. “Her voice was so beautiful. You'd think that after years of not speaking her voice would be a little croaky, but no! It was the sweetest thing you've ever heard.”

“Wow!” A few of the marines exclaimed. “That's amazing!”

“I know, I know!”

Xander thumped his head against the wall behind him. What was he thinking? Of course this was supernatural. People didn't abruptly change their personalities for no reason, and certainly not this many in one day. Fuck! If Sheppard and McKay didn't get back soon, Xander would find away to knock them all unconscious until he could figure this out.

“They told me about this beast.” Lucius said. “I knew it would be dangerous, but I couldn't just let the monster continue hurting people. So I picked up a sword and strode into the forest, with no armour or anything. Completely unarmed except for the sword.”

Xander was actually surprised that Lucius hadn't taken offence to his lack of interest. In his past experience with brainwashing demons, they tended to react rather badly when they realised their power wasn't working properly. Though Xander hadn't exactly given Lucius any reason to think that it hadn't worked. Sure he wasn't ohhing and ahhing over the bastard but he wasn't exactly confronting him either.

Hearing a noise behind him, Xander turned around and saw Sheppard and McKay looking around the room in confusion.

“Oh, thank fuck!” Xander exclaimed quietly. “Come with me.”

“What the hell's going on?” Sheppard asked angrily.

“I'll explain in a minute.” Xander snapped, leading the men into an unused room and then shutting the door behind them.

“Right.” Xander leant against the door. “So everyone's gone a little mad.”

“You think?” McKay asked waving his arms around. “We're gone for four hours and come home to that!”

“What happened?” Sheppard asked.

“Best that I can figure out, he's brainwashing them somehow.” Xander answered. “One minute people are irritated as hell at him and the next minute they're all over him. And it happened one person at a time too. It was only after they were in contact with him for a while that they really went mad.”

“It's just like at the village.” Sheppard said with a frown. “The entire village thought he was pretty much a god.”

“That makes sense.” Xander nodded. “So I'm pretty sure he's not a demon or anything which means it's probably a herb, potion or spell. Seeing that so far you guys haven't seen any evidence of spells being performed or potions made out here, I'm going to guess herb.”

“Spell?” McKay looked pretty disbelievingly. 

“Vampires and werewolves are real, remember?” Xander reminded him. “And so are spells.”

“How to we fix this?” Sheppard asked. 

Xander shrugged. “I've never seen anything quite like it, to be honest. Similar sure, but not exactly the same.”

“We should search his room.” McKay said suddenly. 

“What?” Sheppard turned to stare at his friend incredulously. 

“Yeah.” Xander agreed. “That'd definitely the first step. Look for any kind of liquid, plant, paste or weird stone.”

“You're not coming?” Sheppard asked.

Xander shook his head. “No, someone needs to watch the fucker, and so far I'm the only one we know is immune.”

“Good point.” McKay nodded quickly. “Why are you immune?”

“It's the hyena, best that I can tell.” Xander shrugged. “I never get sick either.”

“Bastard.” Sheppard glared at him before sneezing loudly.

“Bless you.” Xander smirked at him.

9-9-9

 

An hour, and eight more of Lucius' god awful stories, later and Xander was seriously regretting his decision to watch the man. It made Xander wish for the good old days when brainwashing bad guys made him eat bugs. 

“I know, I know, it's unbelievable right?” Lucius asked excitedly. “I could hardly believe it either! I mean a Wraith with three heads. Who would have thought?”

“Harris, this is Sheppard.” 

Xander's earpiece chirped and Xander quietly stepped into the corridor. “Harris here.”

“We found something.” Sheppard said quickly. “It's an empty vial, but McKay said that there's still enough traces of the liquid in the bottom to figure out what was in it.”

“How long will it take to figure it out?” Xander asked.

Sheppard was silent for a minute before replying again. “Rodney says it'll take hours. Something about him being a physicist not a chemist. Apparently Carson would be able to help, but...”

“Yeah.” Xander sighed. “Is McKay alright to work through the night?”

“Yeah.” Sheppard said. “I'll stay with him, you alright to guard Lucius tonight?”

Xander looked at his watch. “Yeah. Though just a heads up, if he talks for much longer I might just shoot him.”

Sheppard laughed. “Sheppard out.”

Xander stretched for a minute before heading back into the hall, surely Lucius couldn't talk for too much longer. It was twenty four hundred hours, time for evil little aliens to be tucked up in bed.

“And then I just jumped.” Lucius said excitedly. “I mean what else could I do?”

“And you survived?” Ronon asked in obvious awe. “That's amazing!”

“I know, right?” Lucius beamed at him he stood up with a groan. “Wow, I'm so tired. I should get to bed. Maybe tomorrow you can show me how to control those flying machines.”

“Of course, Lucius.” Weir gushed standing up and pressing herself against Lucius' side. “Do you want any company tonight?”

Xander stood up straighter. God, he hoped the man said no. Otherwise things would be infinitely more difficult. It wasn't as though Xander could let the poor woman be manipulated into Lucius' bed.

For a moment it looked like Lucius would say yes, but then he shook his head mournfully. “I'd better not, sweet Elizabeth. Not tonight. I don't want to spoil you too much.”

Weir let a disappointed sigh but nodded. “Alright then. Good night, Lucius.” She kissed the man on the cheek before sashaying away.

Xander watched in disgust as each of the women in the room came forward to kiss Lucius on the cheek, though thankfully there were no more offers to share his bed. 

Finally the room was mostly empty and Xander slipped down the hall, to hide out of sight until Lucius had passed him. The last thing he needed was the for the man to realised that he'd missed someone.

 

9-9-9

The night passed uneventfully, Lucius stayed in his room until long after the sun had come up and by then John and Rodney had figured out what the liquid in the vial had been. 

“You're going to what?” Xander snapped into his radio as he watched Ronon fawning over Lucius at breakfast.

“I'm going through the gate.” Sheppard repeated. “McKay's figured out what the liquid is, and how to make an antidote. But he needs more of the liquid to create it. I figure that Lucius probably has more of the stuff back home.”

Xander sighed. “Yeah probably. Hurry back.”

“Look after Rodney.” Sheppard ordered him. “If he goes all gaga there's no way in hell I'll be able to figure out how to make the stuff.”

“Good point.” Xander sighed. “Tell him to stay in his lab.”

“He will. Sheppard out.”

Xander sighed again. God, he almost wished he was brainwashed. At least it would save him from being bored out of his mind.

9-9-9

The first hour after Sheppard had quietly snuck through the gate was sort of peaceful, no big problems just more god awful stories. 

Then Lucius left the mess and, on his way to the gate room, came across McKay.

It took McKay a few moments to realise that he had been spotted, oblivious little scientist that he was, then he ran back the way he had come.

“Someone stop him.” Lucius said quickly and Ronon went bounding down the hall towards the scientist.

Xander groaned and sprinted down the hall as well. Ronon already had McKay held against the wall by the time Xander got there, but Xander was able to pull him off.

“What the hell are you doing, McKay?”

“I got hungry.” McKay whined. “I'm hypoglycaemic you know. If I don't eat, bad things happen.”

“Yeah.” Xander growled as he dodged a punch from Ronon. “But if you come out of your laboratory you get brainwashed by the alien, now run!”

McKay stared at him for a moment, before running down the hall towards the labs.

Xander ducked away from Ronon's next attack and punched his lover in the gut. He dodged Ronon's next attack and spun around to kick him in the side. Ronon countered with a few punches and for a moment it was as though they were sparring like normal, but then Ronon stepped back pulled out his gun and everything went black.

9-9-9

Xander woke up in a prison cell with a broken nose. He forced himself upright and looked around, glaring when he saw Lucius fucking Lavin staring at him from outside the cell.

“You're a strange one, aren't you?” Lucius frowned. “I've never met anyone like you. Why don't you like me?”

Xander rolled his eyes and shuffled backwards until he was leaning against the back wall. “You're just not my type, sorry.”

Lucius looked confused. “Not your type?” Then he face broke into his usual beaming grin. “Oh, I get it. I'm not your type. That's funny. You're a funny one.”

“Fucker!” Xander spat. “So you've brainwashed the entire base, what's your plan?”

“Not the entire base.” Lucius looked disappointed. “You don't like me and neither does that fellow McKay who ran away.”

“Nope.” Xander smirked. “We don't like you a bit. Not that any one else would like you if you hadn't drugged them.”

“Drugged them?” Lucius looked hurt. “You think I drugged them? I'd never do that.”

“Sure you wouldn't.” Xander shook his head. “Where's Ronon? And Teyla? Aren't they normally following you around?”

“Oh, they're just out doing a little job for me.” Lucius beamed. “It's so good of them really.”

Xander narrowed his eyes. “Where are they?”

“They're just on planet, collecting a plant for me.” Lucius smirked. “I would collect it myself, but there's a wraith outpost on the planet. It's far too dangerous for me to do it.”

“Really?” Xander snarled. “You who defeated a three headed wraith?”

Lucius let out an uncomfortable laugh. “Well, that might have been a slight exaggeration.”

“No kidding.” Xander sneered. “So this plant, it wouldn't happen to be the reason everyone here is in love with you, is it?”

“It was my greatest discovery.” Lucius smirked again. “I'm a baker, you see, or at least I was. One day I found this herb and tried baking it into my bread, and then everyone started to like me. What was I going to do?”

“Uh, stop eating it maybe?” 

“What? No!” Lucius shook his head. “I couldn't do that. They all loved me, and it's not like I'm hurting anyone.”

“Sure you are.” Xander scoffed. “You're taking away their free will, forcing them to do things that they don't want to do.”

“But they do want to!” Lucius grinned. “That's the best thing.”

“You're a bastard. You know that right?” Xander growled.

Lucius shrugged. “Maybe, maybe not. You know you really would be much happier if you'd just let yourself like me.”

Xander laughed bitterly. “Not going to happen.”

“Oh dear.” Lucius frowned. “I don't know what to do with you. I can't just let you run around causing havoc, can I?”

Xander rolled his eyes. 

“Maybe I should just leave you here for now.” Lucius nodded firmly to himself. “Yes, that's what I'll do. I'll leave you here, maybe I'll come back tomorrow and see if you want to like me then.”

“Alrighty then.” Xander glared at him. “I'll just be here. Hating you.”

Lucius frowned at him again before leaving.

Xander sighed and lay down again, now would probably be a good time to get some sleep.

9-9-9

Xander had long since trained himself to be a light sleeper. It had been a necessary skill to have while he was in Africa, particularly so when he was staying with soldiers who thought that it was funny to pull pranks in their sleep comrades. 

So when someone arrived outside his prison cell Xander woke up instantly.

“Were you sleeping?” Sheppard sounded incredulous. “Seriously?”

“Fuck off.” Xander growled as he stood up.

“You know,” Sheppard said casually as he opened the prison doors. “I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be nicer to me.”

“Because technically you're my boss?” Xander asked with a grin.

“Well, that and the fact that I'm liberating you from a prison cell.” Sheppard replied. “Where's Rodney?”

“You haven't found him?” Xander asked worriedly as he followed Sheppard into the corridor.

“I haven't looked yet.” Sheppard shrugged. “I managed to convince Elizabeth and Lucius that I was brainwashed too, but I'm not sure I'd be able to do it again. I think my sycophant impression needs some work.”

Xander laughed. “Last I saw McKay he was running back to his lab. Apparently he got hungry and ventured out for some food. Lucius saw him and got Ronon to capture him. I managed to fight Ronon off long enough for McKay to get away.”

“I thought you and Ronon were on pretty even footing.” Sheppard asked curiously, leading Xander down another corridor. 

“We are.” Xander answered. “But he shot me.”

Sheppard laughed. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Xander grinned. “I'll get him back for that.”

“I'm sure you will.” Sheppard said with a grimace. “Just you know, don't tell me anything.”

Xander looked sidewise at Sheppard. “You know?”

“You're not exactly subtle.” Sheppard said flatly. “Though if you hadn't told me about your preferences a week ago I probably wouldn't have put two and two together. I'm a bit surprised about Ronon though. He's never given any indication that he might swing that way.”

“He thought that it was taboo on earth.” Xander explained. “So he was doing his best not to rock the boat.”

Sheppard snorted. “Just like with his superpowers.”

“Yeah.” Xander shrugged. “It's understandable really. He really likes it here and didn't want to do anything that would make him less welcome.”

“I suppose.” Sheppard frowned as they turned down another corridor.

“Why haven't we come across anyone?” Xander asked, the corridors were normally much busier.

“Because a, we're taking some of the lesser known corridors.” Sheppard explained. “And b, everyone's in the mess listening to our guest. Rodney's lab is just up here.”

“Huh.” Xander looked behind him, and then around the corridor. “How many of these unused corridors are there?”

“Lots.” Sheppard grinned. “The place is pretty much a maze.”

“That's helpful. You should come running with me and Ronon, show me around.” Xander suggested.

Sheppard grimaced. “Only if you promise to run slowly. I can run for two hours fine, just not at a sprint like the two of you do.”

Xander laughed. “We don't sprint, we run gently.”

“For you maybe.” Sheppard retorted. “From our regularly human perspectives, it's a sprint.”

“Pansy.” Xander smirked.

Sheppard glared at him before turning into another corridor, this one Xander recognised. 

“Huh, I know where we are now.”

Sheppard ignored him, choosing instead to knock of the door to McKay's lab. “Rodney! It's Sheppard. Open up.”

The door slid open and Xander followed Sheppard into the lab, McKay locked the door behind them.

“Oh, thank god!” McKay exclaimed. “Where have you been? I thought something had happened to you!”

“They locked him up.” Sheppard answered digging into his pockets and then handing a few vials to McKay. “Here's the stuff. How long will it take?”

“Not too long.” McKay said absently as he rushed the vials over to one of the benches.

“Meaning under an hour?” Sheppard asked jumping up so that he was sitting on one of the benches. “Over an hour? Six hours? Four hours? Ten minutes?”

“Quiet!” McKay snapped.

“Okay then.” Sheppard rolled his eyes and then lay down on the bench. “I'm going to have a little nap, wake me up when it's done.”

Xander almost laughed at McKay's outraged glare. “Do you need anything, McKay?”

“What?” McKay asked as he looked down at the microscope in front of him.

Xander grinned and hopped up onto the bench along from Sheppard's one. “Never mind. I'll just be here meditating if you need me.”

9-9-9

It took almost two hours, which was definitely pushing Xander's limit of time he could spend meditating without falling asleep, but McKay finally finished.

“And you're sure it works?” Sheppard asked.

McKay's obvious outrage was pretty hilarious. “Do I ask you whether your bombs work? No, because I trust you.”

Sheppard chuckled. “You trust that the science behind the bombs will work, Rodney, it's got nothing to do with me.”

Rodney glared at his friend. “Yes, I'm sure it will work.”

“Maybe we should test it one someone first.” Xander suggested. “I could go find you a volunteer if you like?”

“Yeah, good idea.” Sheppard nodded. “Take them to the prison cells. That way we can lock them up while we wait for the serum to work. We'll meet you there. And do try not to permanently damage anyone.”

Xander grinned at him. “I'll try my best. McKay, can you unlock the door?”

“Fine, fine.” McKay huffed. “It's probably better that we do this gradually anyway. Bring two if you can.”

Xander smirked. “Two volunteers coming up.” 

The volunteers were pretty easy to catch really. Story time had apparently moved to the gate room, and all Xander had to do was sneak into the room, grab the two marines nearest the door – one hand over each of their mouths – and pull them out of the room. No one even noticed. 

McKay's expression when he came back after less than five minutes with two struggling marines was pretty hilarious. 

“How long will it take to work?” Sheppard asked as McKay injected each of them with the antidote. 

“I'm not sure.” McKay shrugged. “Ten minutes maybe.”

“Do you want me to go get more?” Xander asked as he shoved the two struggling marines into one of the cells.

Sheppard considered that for a minute. “Yeah, we'll be here.”

Xander shot the Colonel a mock salute and strode out the door to find more captives. The next two were still ridiculously easy, so were the four after those ones. At that point the recovered soldiers started helping out which speeded up the process considerably. It wasn't until almost the entire military personal on the base had been safely un-brainwashed that Lucius started asking where all the people had gone.

“We should do the rest in one go.” Sheppard decided. “We can out muscle them now and it would be best if the entire base was cured by the time Ronon and Teyla get back.”

“If we give everyone here a syringe then we could do it quickly.” Xander suggested. 

“Not just anyone can give an injection you know.” McKay snapped. “It takes training.”

“Fine.” Sheppard sighed and looked around the room. “Who here has had injection training?”

“It's called inoculation training.” McKay muttered even as seven people put up their hand.

“Great.” Sheppard nodded. “You guys come up here and get instructions from McKay. The rest of us will provide back up.”

“What's your plan with Teyla and Ronon?” Xander asked Sheppard quietly.

“I'm going to stun them.” Sheppard said.

“You have weapons with stunning capabilities?” Xander asked. “Besides Ronon's gun?”

“Some.” Sheppard shrugged. “We got them from aliens from our galaxy. They're called zats.”

“Awesome.” Xander grinned. “Can I try one out sometime?”

“Sure.” Sheppard answered before looking towards the group of marines in front of McKay. “Right, has every one got a syringe or five?”

“Yes, yes.” McKay snapped. 

“Good then.” Sheppard grinned. “Move out, people.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Neither the BTVS world nor the SGA world belong to me.
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sounding Board, and sister – Kakariki – without her this story wouldn't have been possible.

“I don't understand!” Doctor Weir exclaimed for the third time since Sheppard had levelled his gun at Lucius. “Why are you doing this?”

“Can someone please inject Doctor Weir.” Sheppard snapped. “You've been brainwashed, Elizabeth. Trust me.”

“You're mad!” Weir exclaimed, turning to Lucius who was looking around the room at all the marines holding guns with a devastated expression. “I'm so sorry, Lucius. I had no idea that John would do anything like this.”

“It's alright, my sweet Elizabeth.” Lucius smiled weakly. “I know you had no part in this.”

“Uh, should we inject Lucius as well, sir?” One of the marines with a syringe asked.

“Rodney?” Sheppard questioned.

“Yes, yes.” McKay nodded quickly jabbing a syringe into the arm of one of the scientists. 

Xander looked around the room and realised that there were only a few people left to be injected. “Have you got the zat gun with you, Sheppard?”

“Not yet.” Sheppard shook his head. “Will you guys be alright here if I run and get it?”

“Yeah, be quick though.” Xander said. “Ronon and Teyla been gone a few hours now, it would suck if they came back before you.”

Sheppard chuckled. “Yeah, it really would. We need to start clearing out this room too, the last thing we need is a bunch of scientists hanging around when Teyla and Ronon get back.”

“Gotcha.” Xander nodded. “It shouldn't be too long now.”

“Oh my god!” One of the scientists looked around in horror. “What the hell happened?”

“It's always the same questions.” Sheppard snickered as he jogged out of the room.

“Everything's alright Doctor Branton.” One of the marines said with an encouraging smile. “We were all brainwashed, but Doctor McKay figured out how to fix it.”

Xander watched in amusement as each of the scientists came back to themselves, all asking the same questions. One of them actually had to be held back from attacking Lucius.

“Alright.” Xander called loudly. “Can all the scientists who are in their right mind again go to the mess hall please. Kline, Porse, Werner, you go with them.”

“Yes, sir!” Xander's marines saluted and began to usher some of the scientists out of the gate room.

One by one the rest of the scientists began to come back to themselves until there were only eight people left under Lucius' control.

“Oh, god.” Doctor Weir moaned suddenly, practically running backwards to get away from Lucius. “Oh, god.”

“Doctor Weir?” Xander stepped towards her. “How are you feeling, ma'am.”

“Oh, god.” Weir repeated again. “What did he do to us?”

“He used a herb that influences peoples' minds.” Xander explained. “Luckily McKay was able to create an antidote.”

“Right, okay.” Weir took in a deep breath. “Is there anything I can do?”

“We need all the civilians out of this room, ma'am.” Xander said, just as the stargate began to activate. “This will probably be Ronon, Teyla and Carson and we're going to need to incapacitate them.”

“Right.” Weir repeated. “Let's go people.”

As the scientists began to quickly file out of the room Xander looked around, hoping that John was back. 

“You and you.” McKay said loudly, pointing at two of the marines, before running up the stairs. “Go and escort our guest to one of the prison cells will you?”

“Yes, Doctor McKay.” The two marines each grabbed one of Lucius' arms and forcibly marched him out of the room, ignoring his protests.

“It's Teyla's IDC.” McKay called from the computers at the top of that stairs. “I'm opening the shield.”

“Fantastic.” Xander muttered, handing his gun off to the nearest marine.

Beckett came through the gate first, holding a bag in each hand. He looked around the room eagerly, and then his face fell. “Where's Lucius?” 

“Yes.” Teyla, who had come through the gate right behind Carson, agreed. “Where is Lucius?”

“Lucius is unavailable at the moment.” Xander said with a grin. “Sorry.”

“What did you do to him?” Ronon roared from beside Teyla, he dove towards Xander with a snarl.

Xander ducked out the way of Ronon's first punch and winced when Ronon's second one hit his shoulder. 

“Nothing.” Xander denied as he dodged away again. “He's fine. Did you have a fun trip? Kill any wraith?”

Ronon kicked at him and then twisted around to avoid Xander's jab at his kidneys. “Many! And I will kill you also if you don't tell me where Lucius is.”

“Funny story, actually.” Xander smirked as he grabbed both Ronon's arms and head butted him.

“Teyla!” Beckett cried out in shock.

“What?” Ronon twisted away from Xander and then stared at Teyla's unconscious body for a moment.

“Sorry, buddy.” Sheppard said loudly before Ronon was hit with a blue light and slumped to the ground, unconscious.

“What are you doing, Colonel?” Beckett asked looking between Teyla and Ronon in horror. “Where's Lucius?”

“McKay?” Sheppard prompted.

“Oh, right.” McKay ran forward, a syringe in hand, and jabbed Beckett in the arm. “Don't worry, Carson. Everything will make sense in about seven minutes.”

“What did you do?” Carson asked, looking betrayed.

“You're brainwashed.” Rodney explained quickly as he gave an injection to both Teyla and Ronon. “I figured out how and created an antidote.”

Xander huffed out a laugh and walked over to Sheppard. “Good timing.”

Sheppard smirked. “I considered waiting a bit, it looked like you were having fun there.”

Xander shook his head and stared at Ronon. “Not so much. What will you do with Lucius?”

“That's up to Elizabeth.” Sheppard answered. “But I imagine that we'll give his village the antidote, confiscate his supply of the drug, and then let him go. What else can we do?”

Xander chuckled. “That should be punishment enough. I doubt his village will be very happy with him.”

Sheppard grinned. “He had six wives you know. I can only imagine what they'll do to him.”

 

10-10-10

 

“And he's gone?” Xander asked over dinner that night. 

“Yeap.” Sheppard said with a grin. “He's now at the tender mercies of his village, who were rather pissed off.”

“Understandably.” Teyla put in. “We were only influenced for a day, they have been influenced for years.”

McKay shuddered dramatically. “I can't even imagine. Just think of how much of my genius would be wasted.”

Xander snorted in amusement. “Yeah, that would be just tragic, McKay, never mind the things you might be forced to do.”

Ronon stood up. “I'm done. You coming?”

Xander looked down at his mostly full plate with a sigh but stood up with nod. “Sure.”

“But you've barely even eaten.” McKay protested.

“I'm not hungry.” Ronon growled before striding towards the door.

Xander watched him go for a moment before turning back to the team. “Right, well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a pleasant evening.” Teyla said with gentle smile.

“Thanks.” Xander grinned. “We will.”

“Does anyone else think that's weird.” McKay asked as Xander began walking after Ronon. “They're always together. It's weird.”

“I do not think it is weird.” Teyla replied. “I am happy that Ronon has found a partner.”

“Wait.” McKay said. “When you say partner...”

Xander grinned and broke into a gentle run towards his and Ronon's rooms. Once outside Ronon's room, he swiped his hand across the door frame to open the door and sighed when he realised it was locked. 

Turning around Xander ran towards the sparring room, feeling pretty stupid for not trying there first. 

He found Ronon fiercely punching one of the punching bags, the bag was swinging wildly and didn't look like it would last much longer.

“Spar?” Xander asked once he was within hearing distance of the man and frowned when Ronon made no movement towards him.

“I don't want to hurt you.” Ronon said quietly, hitting the punching bag again.

“You won't.” Xander shrugged. “I can take whatever you throw at me, remember? Just so long as you don't pull your awesome alien gun on me.”

Ronon didn't reply, he just punched the bag a few times.

“Alright then.” Xander said with a sigh. He walked over the the punching bag and stopped it swinging. “Look I know how you feel. I was brainwashed six years ago. The bastard had me calling him Master and eating bugs off of bushes. Two of my friends were lucky to get out alive.”

“Really?” Ronon asked, staring at him in surprise.

“Yeah.” Xander shrugged. “It sucked, but my friends didn't blame me for my actions at the time, just like I don't blame you. The only reason you attacked me was the drug Lucius was using, and you're immune to it now.”

“I shot you.” Ronon grunted. 

“Yeah.” Xander agreed. “But it's not like I have any lasting damage, so no harm, no foul.”

“That is a strange saying.” Ronon said, pushing off the punching bag.

“Yeah. I guess it is. But it's true, in this case at least. Besides, you stunned me, Sheppard stunned you. The way I see it, I've been avenged.”

Ronon looked less than impressed by Xander's logic.

“So, spar?” Xander asked again. “You could even let me get a few free hits.”

Ronon barked out a laugh. 

“Or not.” Xander grinned. “Come on! We didn't get to spar at all yesterday. Don't make me go two days without a good fight.”

Ronon stared at him for a moment. “Fine.”

Xander couldn't stop himself from grinning in triumph. “Awesome.”

 

10-10-10

 

“Harris! Hold up a minute.”

Xander stopped walking and turned to wait for Sheppard to catch him up. “Hurry up, Sheppard. They're serving meatloaf.”

“Really?” Sheppard jogged quickly towards Xander with a grin. “But it's Wednesday,”

“I know.” Xander started his fast walk towards the mess hall. “Maybe they have some extra meat or something.”

“Of course.” Sheppard nodded. “The second A.R.T came home today with a trade agreement and a couple of animals worth of meat.”

“Good on them. What kind of animal?”

“No idea. Though I hope to god it's not toikla.”

“Wait.” Xander grimaced. “Wasn't that the animal Doctor Weir said was like the hyena?”

“Yeah.” Sheppard shuddered. “It's pretty awful. Not even the meatloaf flavours would managed to hide the taste.”

“Do you eat it much?”

“Not any more.” Sheppard answered. “We did our first year out here. We had no connection to earth and barely any trade connections. It's one of the easiest meats to find out here.”

“Where do you get your meat from now?” Xander asked. 

“Some from trade partners.” Sheppard replied. “Though most of comes from earth. They freeze it and send it out here on the Daedalus.”

“Why don't you send a team out to hunt?” Xander asked. “Surely you know some unoccupied planets with wildlife? Better yet, why not set up a farm of sorts on the mainland? Become self-sufficient and all that.”

“We're soldiers, Harris.” Sheppard argued. “Not farmers or hunters.”

“Speak for yourself.” Xander laughed. “I'm sure you have at least some marines who enjoy hunting and that's not even mentioning me and Ronon. Hell, you could send us out for a day and we could get you a couple of weeks worth of meat.”

“Seriously?” Sheppard turned to look at him.

“How do you think Ronon ate while he was runner?” Xander asked. “For that matter, how do you think I ate in Africa? And I'm sure you'd have some guys who would be interested in doing some stock farming on the mainland if it meant better food.”

“Huh.” Sheppard starting down the corridor again. “You should talk to Elizabeth about it. You've got some good ideas.”

“You should come with me.” Xander countered. “She'd be more likely to listen to me if you were there voicing your support.”

“You don't think she'd listen to you?” 

“I think she would.” Xander mused. “But I don't want to come across critical of the way you guys do things here. Besides, you have a better understanding of this galaxy than I do.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sheppard shrugged. “Do you have any other suggestions, Harris?”

Xander gave him a searching look. “A few. But as I said, I don't want to sound critical.”

“You're not.” Sheppard shrugged. “Let's call it a fresh set of eyes.”

“Well,” Xander started cautiously. “I'd really like to have strategy session about the Wraith, but I think I'd like to have actually killed one first. And maybe seen one of their spaceships.”

Sheppard grinned as they entered the mess. “That can certainly be arranged. You have some ideas on how to kill them?”

“A few.” Xander shrugged. “I've been reading through your mission reports. But as I said, I don't really want to say anything until I actually know what we're fighting.”

“Sounds reasonable.” Sheppard grinned and picked up a tray before standing in line for food. “Tell you what. Next time my team has a mission where we know there are going to be wraith, I'll bring you along.”

“That's presuming my team doesn't stumble across any first.” Xander pointed out.

Sheppard laughed. “True. Are all these ideas you have, yours? Or did some of them come from Ronon?”

“A bit of both.”

“Why didn't he just tell me?” Sheppard asked in frustration. “He's almost been here a year for god's sake.”

“You may have noticed this already,” Xander grinned. “But Ronon doesn't talk much.”

“Smart ass.” Sheppard growled, spooning meatloaf onto a plate. 

Xander laughed. “Guilty.”

 

10-10-10

 

Xander thoroughly inspected each of his team and then, upon seeing that everything was in place, nodded in satisfaction. “Alright, we're ready, Doctor Weir.”

“Worrywort.” Sheppard muttered from near him.

Xander gestured rudely in the colonel's direction.

“Alright, A.R.T. three.” Doctor Weir called down from the balcony as the stargate burst into action. “You have a go.”

Xander saluted her with a grin and then turned towards the gate. “Alright, boys and girls. Let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End...For Now.
> 
> I do have sequels planned, but I make no promises as to when I will be publishing them on here. I like to finish stories, or at least be about 80% finished, before I post them.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed my story.


End file.
